Once Upon a Hollow's Hallow's Eve
by deepfriedcake
Summary: Can an unexpected Halloween visitor lift the curse still keeping Lorelai and Luke apart? Early season 7, with probably no relevance to actual events occurring in the show. You've been warned, are you brave enough to read it anyway?
1. What Woeful Witches Wish

**A/N:** BecauseI knew that _**Previously Anonymous**_ was writing a Halloween story, (which is posted and completely adorable – if you haven't already read it, go do it now!), I wondered what sort of Halloween tale I could conjure up, and this is the only idea that came to me. As usual, I use any excuse to nudge Lorelai and Luke together again. Hope this is like getting a full-size candy bar in your treat basket!

* * *

 **What Woeful Witches Wish**

"What do you say?"

"Thank you!" the gaggle of children chorused.

One little girl, obviously the Rory – or maybe the Paris – of the group, felt the need to embellish. "Thank you for the Halloween candy!" she said, her voice warbling up and down the words as if they were a song.

"No big display this year, Lorelai?" The dad shepherding this group of trick-or-treaters made the comment as they began to walk away.

"No, not this year," Lorelai replied, _so_ tired of saying the same thing over and over.

"Too bad," he threw back over his shoulder. "We always loved seeing what you were going to do to top the year before." He waved and followed the kids to Babette's house, ducking to miss the low-hanging bats the Dells had hung from their trees.

Everyone who had stopped by her house tonight had said a variation of the same thing. They missed the wild and crazy Halloween display normally lighting up the Crap Shack this time of year.

Lorelai wondered if they all missed the wild and crazy Lorelai that used to be around, too. God knows she did.

She re-positioned the pointed black hat on her head. Personally, she felt she'd pulled off a minor miracle by hauling a chair to the yard and buying candy. If anything, she deserved bonus points for putting on a costume of sorts. To be honest, even those small efforts had exhausted her. There was no energy left to placate disappointed neighbors. If they wanted a display to gawk at, they needed to pick up the slack.

"Trick'r'treat!"

Lorelai jumped in her seat, startled by the greeting. "Deidre! Hi! You snuck up on me."

The six-year-old from two doors down twirled in excitement. "Look, Lorelai! I'm a witch, just like you!"

"You are!" With a now-rare, genuine smile on her face, Lorelai bent closer to the energetic little girl. "So tell me, dearie, are you a good witch or a bad witch?" She made her voice thin and cackling.

"I'm a bad witch!" Diedre cried out happily.

"You are?" Lorelai was surprised. As far as she could tell, Deidre was one of the sweetest children in town. "Why are you a bad witch?"

Deidre leaned against Lorelai's knees, delighted to impart her knowledge. "Because bad witches have flying monkeys," she confided. "It must be a lot more fun to be bad!"

Lorelai laughed at the innocent insight. "You might be on to something there. Here, have some candy." She pointed to the filled cauldron at her side. "Take an extra one," she encouraged, when the little girl only picked out a small Snickers bar.

"No, Mommy says only take one."

"You know that _bad_ witches would take _at least_ two," Lorelai whispered, no longer caring if she was a good influence or not.

Deidre grinned, snuck a fast look at her mother, who was patiently waiting at the street, and quickly snatched up a Reese's cup as well.

"Thanks, Lorelai!" She went flying off to the next house.

"We bad witches have to stick together!" she called after her.

 _Bad witch_. The careless words seemed to echo through her head, stinging her with their truth. It was funny how sometimes the most innocuous thing could make her heart hurt and rev up the guilt all over again.

Luckily, she hadn't bothered with extensive makeup this Halloween, so she could scrub the tears from her eyes with no ill effects. It was dark enough that no one could tell, so why not cry if she felt like it?

Last year she'd bought pounds of sausages to pull out of Luke, but the weather was too cold to put her plan into play when the holiday finally arrived. Instead Luke had grilled them with peppers and onions, and they'd eaten them in front of the fireplace after all of the spooks and goblins had gone home.

The bittersweet memory made a few more tears trickle down her cheeks, but this time she wiped them away almost angrily. She'd always wondered what had prompted Luke's abrupt agreement to go along with her over-the-top Halloween scheme. Was it because he felt sorry for her, after witnessing the pitiful treatment she'd received at Rory's birthday party? Or was it because he already felt guilty?

She'd never learned exactly when he'd found out about April. He'd never told her straight out, and she'd never had the courage to pry. Was he already lying to her in October? Was that what had fueled his curiously generous offer to be her sausage-stuffed patient?

She heard another group of small monsters heading her way, so she quickly pasted on a smile before dispensing treats into their plastic pumpkins and pillowcases. Once they'd headed off to find more bounty, she leaned back in the chair, staring up at the stars. She leaned back so far that her hat toppled off. She let it rest in the grass, not caring if she looked the part anymore.

 _Last year,_ she reflected. Last year she had Luke, but not Rory. This year she had Rory, but no Luke. She studied the stars, wondering if there was indeed some grand scheme, some cosmic balance sheet that was set to only allow her a certain level of happiness and no more. If so, then she'd got it right, hadn't she? Because obviously Rory was the main thing. She'd signed up for the mom gig for life. Sure, having that one special person to grow old with was a nice concept, but her daughter was forever. Thinking she could maybe have both was her own foolish mistake.

Sadness descended on her, so engulfing that it threatened to smother her, so she sat up abruptly, not wanting to dig any deeper into her tortured memories. She searched instead for upbeat thoughts. After all, she had Rory and she had her house. She had her business. She had friends. She even had her parents, if that counted towards the good. She guessed she even had Christopher, if she wanted him.

 _Ha, wouldn't that serve Luke right?_ she thought rather smugly.

 _It would serve_ _ **you**_ _right,_ her inner Jiminy Cricket pointed out soberly.

The truth smacked her psyche again and she moaned, burying her head in her hands.

"Hi. Um…Happy Halloween?"

"Happy Halloween!" Lorelai chirped immediately, springing up. She was desperate that no one see the despair that still insisted on following her around. "Here, have some…" She finally calmed enough to glance over at her taller than normal trick-or-treater. _"…April?!"_

"Thanks, but I have enough April already," the girl replied with a grin.

"I…you probably…I bet you do," Lorelai floundered for some sort of a reply. She felt as if sausages were ready to burst out of her chest. She was every bit as stunned as the first time she'd laid eyes on Luke's daughter.

April looked around the yard curiously, then stooped to retrieve Lorelai's hat. "I haven't done a real survey, but witches seem exceptionally popular this year," she observed, handing the black hat over to her.

"Yes. Yes, I agree. I've had several here tonight. You can't beat a classic costume." Still flustered, Lorelai tried to look closer at her visitor, but between the lack of light and her shattered nerves, she couldn't make out anything of what April was wearing. "What are you dressed up as?" she asked, sticking the hat back on her head.

"I'm just me," April said, shrugging. "I have a pretty strict self-imposed rule about big kids trick or treating. I just wanted to sort of look around the town. You know, see what a Stars Hollow Halloween was like."

"Sure. Right. Absolutely," she prattled, wishing she knew what to say to her unexpected guest. "Um, do you want to sit down?" she offered, since April was showing no signs of leaving. She pushed the chair a little bit towards her.

"Yeah, thanks." April plopped down nonchalantly. This visit with her father's ex didn't seem to be freaking her out at all.

"Be right back. Just gonna grab another chair." While she retrieved a second lawn chair from the front porch, Lorelai coached herself to breathe deeply and calmly. She couldn't force her hands to stop shaking when she opened it, though, and hesitantly placed it next to April's.

"Nice night, huh?" she said, and then winced at her inane comment.

"Yeah. There's nothing worse than having to hide your cool Halloween costume under your winter coat."

That made her smile. "Hmm, sounds like you speak from experience."

"I had _the best_ Carmen Sandiego costume, and nobody even got to see it!"

Lorelai chuckled. "My sympathies."

"Then there was another time when I was a grizzly bear, but that year it was so hot that I had to take off my head halfway around the block."

Lorelai laughed again. "October truly is the cruelest month."

"Isn't that supposed to be April?"

"Oh, um, yeah, but you know – poetic license," Lorelai mumbled, floundering once again.

There was a small spell of silence, as they waited for more trick-or-treaters to come, or for Lorelai's cheeks to stop flaming after her thoughtless comment, whichever came first.

"I haven't seen you much lately." April's sudden observation came from out of the blue.

"You didn't see me much even when you should have been seeing me," Lorelai sputtered out, still too unnerved to edit herself. Instantly she slapped a hand over her mouth. "I mean –"

"I've wondered," April continued on, apparently unfazed. "Was that my mother's idea?"

For a few more moments Lorelai panicked, not sure what to say. Then she decided that she'd just talk to April the same way she would to Rory. After all, what would it matter now, if she said something Anna didn't like?

"It was your mother's decree. But Luke –" She closed her eyes for just a second. "Luke went along with it."

"So, both of them."

"Yeah. It took both of them to make it stick."

April crossed her arms over her chest and looked thoughtfully out towards the street. "I guess I'm right, then. I've been thinking for a while now that I need to apologize to you."

"Apologize? What for?"

"For messing up you and my dad."

"Oh…Oh, April. Honey, no." Lorelai turned quickly and put both of her hands on April's arm. "That is not true. What happened between us is our problem, not yours. It was not your fault in any way, shape, or form. No one blames you about what happened."

"But if I hadn't shown up –"

"No," Lorelai said firmly, still patting her arm as soothingly as possible. "I've had oodles of time to think about this. Believe me, I've dissected what happened from every direction, and I've come to the same conclusion every time. Your dad and I already had problems between us, long, long before we knew about you. But we were stupid. We always thought we had more time to deal with them, or maybe we thought that if we kept ignoring them they'd just magically disappear. All I know is that one day, we finally ran out of time to fix any of it."

"Because of me," April said ominously.

"No," Lorelai insisted authoritatively. "Whatever blew up next was going to be the end of us. It was just chance that you came looking for your dad at the same time."

"But still, it _was_ me."

"April, honey, listen to me. Here's just a partial list of all the things Luke and I never talked about." Lorelai grabbed a quick breath of air and just let her thoughts go, ticking each non-conversation off on her fingers. "Rory. Jess. Money. My parents. Anything about his family – especially his sister. The diner. The Dragonfly, except for very briefly, the money he loaned me to get it finished. Rory's father – except to fight about him. How we were going to split expenses. Where we were going to keep the coupons."

Her lips quivered so hard that she had to stop talking. Who knew that the silly coupons would be another thing to break her? She regrouped and continued bravely, counting on fingers she'd already used once.

"Kids – or plants. His grief about losing his father. We _never_ talked about his mother, not once. His old girlfriends. His marriage –"

"Wait!" April jumped up, looking incredulous. "My _dad_ – was _married_?"

"Yes?" Lorelai sort-of admitted, cringing at her unintentional reveal.

"Holy cow. Really?" April sat back down, perched on the edge of the seat.

"Um, yeah."

"I can't even – my head…" April spun a finger around the top of her head, while shaking it in disbelief.

Lorelai scoffed. "You should have seen my reaction, the night he told me."

"Wow," April muttered, still shaken. "Does my mom know?"

"You think _I'd_ know that? And if you want more info about it, make Luke tell you. It's his past, not mine."

"Yeah, OK." April looked dissatisfied, but she nodded.

Lorelai sighed. "What you need to understand is that we had a ton of stuff hovering over us, threatening to crash down on our heads at any minute, and we…did nothing about it. We didn't try to talk about it, we didn't try to compromise. We just crossed our fingers and hoped that being 'in love' was enough. Basically, we kept on living separate lives, even though we said that we wanted to join those lives together. A strong breeze would have been enough to break us apart."

"And instead you got a hurricane. Hurricane April."

"Not true." Lorelai moved her hand to April's and gave it a comforting squeeze. "Do you think for one minute that your dad is sorry you came into his life?"

April seemed to consider the question very seriously. "No," she finally said, after doing the calculations.

"That's right. He's thrilled to be your dad. You know that's true. I know that's true. You were very brave to come and find him."

"I guess." April looked about the yard again, and then slowly stood up. "I should probably be heading back to the diner. I just felt like I should say something to you about...Well, everything."

Lorelai stood up too, and after a slight hesitation, leaned over and hugged her. "If you _want_ to talk about the hard stuff, then you're already a huge step ahead of where Luke and I were. Or still are, for that matter."

"Thanks for letting me stick around." April took a few steps, but then turned around. "I know this is probably weird, and not something I should butt into, but is there anything you want me to say to Dad? I mean, any kind of message you want me to give him?"

Lorelai didn't miss the almost-hopeful spark in the girl's eyes, or the way her own heart leaped at the idea of somehow connecting with Luke again. She bit her lips to contain the dozen quips that instantly sprang to mind, most of them not appropriate for a thirteen-year-old girl to hear. At last her eyes fell on the cauldron of candy at her feet.

She dove into it and came out with a PayDay bar in her hand. "Here. Just give him this," she decided, passing it to April.

"Why?" Logical April asked.

"Because for some unfathomable reason, it's Luke's favorite candy. Not that he eats much of it anyway, but it's still what he reaches for, if he has a choice. I can't stand them. But yet, look what I bought this year." Lorelai reached for the ginormous Target bag resting behind the chairs, full of extra Halloween candy, and opened it for April to peer inside. "Why did I do that?"

"Wow. Uh, how many bags of those did you buy?"

"Seven," Lorelai said with disgust. "I bought the store out. Too bad, rest of Connecticut. No PayDays for you!"

"Huh. Interesting," April observed.

"Insane," Lorelai muttered, throwing the shopping bag down.

April tucked the candy bar into her pocket. "Would you mind if I took one too?"

"Help yourself," Lorelai sighed. She watched as April picked out another PayDay bar. "Wait. You like them, too?"

"Yeah." April grinned. "I guess there's something to genetics after all."

Lorelai studied April. Truthfully, she'd never seen any of Luke in her, but maybe it _was_ there, just lurking under the surface. "You know what? Take a bag of them. Take two! Help me get rid of them."

"I will accept that offer. Thanks," April said happily, fitting the bags under her arm.

"Come back when you want more."

April laughed as she took several steps towards the street. "Maybe by Christmas."

Lorelai watched as she began to walk away and panic overwhelmed her. "April! Wait! Wait!" She ran to catch up with her, her breath hitching in her chest. "What _will_ you say to your dad? About tonight? About – about me?" She rubbed her hands up and down her arms because of fear and doubt, not because of the cool fall air.

April picked up on Lorelai's anxiety. "I think I'll say that I hung out with a witch tonight. A beautiful, thoughtful witch, who's probably every bit as sad as she is pretty."

Lorelai sighed, satisfied with that almost-poetic description. "If you could maybe work 'repentant' in there too, I'd be grateful."

"I do better in math and science than in English…but yeah, I think I can handle a little tweak like that."

All at once, Lorelai thought about the _Parent Trap_ spark she'd recognized in April's eyes a little earlier, as well as the way her own hopes had flared at the idea of _anything_ to do with Luke, and she tried to manage expectations for both of them. "I know nothing is going to change where we are – not really. Truthfully, what I really want to know – the only thing that really matters – is whether or not he still hates me. If I knew he was past the hate, I think I'd feel so much better."

"I'm sure he doesn't _hate_ you!" April refuted, looking perturbed.

That naïve comment had the power to change Lorelai back into the mom, the adult in the room. She remembered she was talking to a barely-teenaged girl, not to her own grown daughter, not to a friend. Despite April's adult-like speech and insights, she was still closer to childhood than maturity. _Of course_ Luke wouldn't have shared the terrible details of the break-up with her. _Of course_ she didn't know the truth of what Lorelai had done. Naturally she still believed in fairy tale endings.

"If he doesn't, he should," she mumbled sadly.

"Huh?"

"Oh, April." Lorelai took in a major gulp of air and let reality reset her thoughts. "Someday, I should go and talk to Luke about this. It's my responsibility to start that discussion, and maybe someday I'll have the courage to do that. If you want, tell him you stopped by here, and I gave you some candy, but there's no need to go into anything else. Some kind words from you aren't going to make any difference between us, except to irritate your dad and make him even madder at me. Just let it be, OK?"

"But I could –"

"No, you can't." Lorelai stepped closer and gave her a second hug. "I love that you want to, though. I'm so glad you came to see me tonight and that we had a chance to talk." She gave her one last squeeze and moved away. "I think I want to be you when I grow up!" she proclaimed. She tried hard to grin boldly, but she knew it was a long way from her best effort.

April looked disappointed. "But you see, I like symmetry. And if I was the thing that made you guys break up, it seems like I should be able to –"

"No." Lorelai's voice was extra-firm. "The break up's on my shoulders, April. I was the one who stuck the knife into the relationship and made sure it was dead."

A moment passed, and then, inexplicably, Lorelai started to giggle. She tried to stifle them but couldn't.

"That's funny?" April asked, sounding affronted.

"No, no it's not." Way too hard to explain how sometimes laughing was the only thing that kept the tears away. "You said 'symmetry' and that made me remember the time when one of your dad's old girlfriends tried to force him to compliment my eyes, and the only thing he could think to say was that they were symmetrical."

"Man, he doesn't have any game at all, does he?"

… _I'm all in, Luke had told her, the horoscope in his hand, with the sweetest, most resolute look on his face…_

She cleared her throat, once again battling tears. "Every now and then, he did OK," she said softly.

"Was this girlfriend the one he married?"

"No, this was someone else."

"There was someone _else_?" April's eyes bugged out.

"Crap. Spilled the beans again," Lorelai sighed.

"Well, I think Dad and I need to eat some PayDays and have a _long_ talk," April stated, beginning to walk away.

"Just don't tell him where you heard it, please!"

"I won't! Happy Halloween!" April called back to her.

"You too!"

Slowly, Lorelai returned to the chair and eased herself down on it, emotionally wrung out. She searched in her witch's cauldron for anything that wasn't a PayDay, hoping that the sugar hit would give her enough energy to pick up the candy and the chairs and drag them to the house, because she was pretty sure that no more trick-or-treaters were going to visit tonight.

She looked again to the stars as she threw a handful of M&Ms in her mouth. She realized that maybe the cosmic balance sheet she'd been pondering earlier needed to be edited a little bit. As crazy as it seemed, April had essentially added herself into the final tally.

"Lions and tiger and bears, oh my," Lorelai whispered, and made the most sincere wish on the brightest star she could find in the Halloween sky.

Maybe the Great Pumpkin would see fit to grant it…or maybe a house would fall on her instead. If Luke's daughter wanted to come call on her, absolutely anything might happen next.

* * *

 **End of the Chapter Author's Note:** (Because by now it should be obvious that I am completely addicted to talking to all of you. Seriously, I may need help. Is there a 12-step program? Asking for a friend…) This was supposed to be a one-shot. Short, sweet, hopeful, DONE! Bam. But…I really, really want to sit in on that conversation Luke and April are going to have, don't you? So I guess there will be one more chapter. Maybe two. Three, at the very most! Happy Halloween!


	2. What Dismal Danes Desire

Brown hair, made up of more frizz than curls, bounced past the diner's windows. For the first time in two hours and forty-seven minutes, Luke relaxed.

Most of the time he felt as clueless about April as he had with Jess. How vigilant was he supposed to be? Was it OK to let her go out by herself at night? Would she begin to resent him if he imposed limits? So far she'd abided by any rule he suggested, and always returned to the diner precisely when she said she would. But that didn't stop him from worrying.

He would have liked to go to somebody for advice, but who could he ask? Liz? Yeah, fat lot of good that would do. Anna? And have her know just how ignorant he was? Maybe he could just randomly approach parents in the diner, the ones with the kids throwing tantrums on the floor or flinging mashed potatoes about, and see what gems of wisdom they might have for him.

The hard truth was that the only person whose advice he wanted – she of the brown curls he now refused to watch for – was no longer an option.

"Hi!" April called out, rushing through the door.

"Hi," he replied. At the sight of his daughter, a smile came naturally to his lips. "How'd your Halloween reconnaissance go?"

"Pretty good." April approached the counter. "It wasn't nearly as weird and quirky as I thought it'd be. Well, I did peek into Miss Patty's for a few minutes. Maybe that's where all of the quirk shows up."

Luke snickered. "Did you say quirk or Kirk?"

"Is there a difference?" April chuckled and cautiously hopped up on a stool, as if she needed to balance herself. "Man, it sure looks dead in here," she commented, looking around the room.

"Yeah, I think the families with kids have herded them home, and the quirky folk are all at Miss Patty's by now." He glanced out at the street. "I'll probably close down pretty soon, if no one else comes in."

"Well, in that case…" April proudly revealed the bags of candy she'd been hiding underneath her jacket. "Ta-da!"

"What'd you do, knock over the Soda Shoppe? Is Taylor Doose going to be barging in here next, ready to throw you in jail?"

"Give me _some_ credit." She pointed at the window between the diner and the candy/ice cream emporium. "Do you think I'd pull something like that right under my father's watchful eye? How stupid do you think I am?"

"I don't think you're stupid at all," Luke said blithely. "Where'd you get the candy?"

"Just luck." She shrugged and looked down, seemingly pulling at the zipper on her jacket. "Happened by a house when they were trying to get rid of their candy at the end of the night. Um, here." She pulled a single PayDay out of her pocket. "Want one?"

Mostly out of habit, Luke started to say no, but the memory of the peanuts, caramel, and nougat was already making his mouth water. "Sure, if you don't mind." He reached eagerly for the bar.

April grinned, watching as he tore off the wrapper. "This is probably my favorite candy bar," she remarked casually, digging another one out of her pocket.

"Really?" Luke stopped chewing for a moment to stare at her. "Mine, too!" he said, smiling again. "How about that?"

"Yeah, how about that," April said quietly, thoughtfully pushing her piece of candy around on the counter. "So, Dad…"

"What do you want?" Luke asked shrewdly.

April's head jerked up. "What do you mean, what do I want?"

Luke shrugged. "Anytime you call me dad, you want something."

"I don't do that!" April insisted. She paused for reflection. "Do I?"

Luke just gave her a knowing look.

"Anyway, all I want is to ask you a question."

"Shoot." He tossed the rest of the miniature candy bar into his mouth.

"Is it true you were married?"

A sliver of peanut went the wrong way down his throat, and he choked. He grabbed a bottle of water and chugged some down. Then he choked and coughed some more, after which he drank even more water. "Who told you that?" he was finally able to demand, his voice hoarse.

"So it is true." April looked at him smugly. "If it wasn't true, that would be the first thing you'd say. Instead, you're trying to discredit whoever told me."

Not for the first time, Luke wondered if April wasn't too smart for her own good. Or at least, too smart for _his_ good. Sighing, he realized she had him caught.

"Technically, it's true, I guess," he allowed.

"Technically?" She frowned at him. "You mean she married you to get a green card or something?"

"No, I mean…" Frazzled, Luke looked around blindly, with no idea how to explain the mess of that relationship to his daughter. "I mean, it wasn't a real marriage."

April looked even more confused. "You guys were just _pretending_ to be married?"

"No, no, of course not. We were married, legally. But we didn't do any of the real married stuff. You know, live together, that kind of thing."

"Then…why did you get married?"

"I don't know," Luke said grimly.

"But you loved her, right?"

Luke paused for one brief moment, debating whether to be brutally truthful or try and save face. "No," he said, coming down on the side of truth.

"Wow." April looked away for a few moments, pondering his admission. "What's her name?"

"Nicole."

"Does she live in Stars Hollow?"

"No." April shot him an exasperated look, and he realized she was running out of patience with his one-word answers. He sighed again. "She lived in Litchfield. Probably still does, as far as I know."

"How did you meet her?"

Luke thought back to that day in the diner. "Um, she was in here, having a cup of coffee. She was waiting to meet with Taylor."

"Why would anybody from Litchfield want to meet with Taylor?"

"She had papers for him to sign, or something like that. Legal stuff."

"Legal stuff?"

"Yeah, you know. Lawyer stuff."

" _Wait_!" April whooped. "She was a _lawyer_? _You_ married a lawyer?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Luke waved away her amused disbelief.

"Holy cow," April mumbled. "Show me her picture. I need to see physical proof of this person."

"I…uh…" Luke cast his eyes upwards, towards the apartment overhead, and frowned. "I don't think I have any."

"Seriously?" April's mouth dropped open. "You don't have wedding pictures?"

"It wasn't – it wasn't that type of wedding." Luke forced himself to recall details he had long ago relegated to the memory trash heap. "There _was_ one taken, right after the ceremony, but Nicole had that." He shrugged. "I'm sure she's gotten rid of it by now."

April pointed at his shirt pocket. "Cellphone pictures will do."

His hand automatically covered his pocket as he shook his head. "I had a different cellphone then. I'm not even sure it took pictures."

April was struggling to understand. "You dated this woman, married her, but you never even took her picture? Was she that ugly?"

"No! She wasn't ugly!" Luke unexpectedly rose to Nicole's defense, hating the streak of meanness he detected in April's comment. It made her sound like Anna. "She was nice-looking. Pretty, even."

"Describe her," April demanded, willing to settle for a word picture.

"She was…" Luke leveled one of his hands up around his forehead. "Tall. Thin. Too thin, probably. She had sort of brownish…reddish…blondish hair?" He shrugged. "She always dressed a little bit fancier than she needed to."

April stared at Luke for a minute, trying to visualize this tall, thin lawyer with multi-colored hair. "When was this? When did you get married?"

Luke was forced to count back in time. "2003, I guess it was. Summer. Uh, July, towards the end."

"So not ancient history, then. How long were you married?"

"The divorce was final on April 27th, 2004."

"Wow. You don't know exactly when you got married, but you memorized the day the divorce was final?"

Discomforted from the truth of April's blunt comment, Luke rubbed a hand over his face. "Yeah, guess so," he said listlessly.

"Here's what I don't understand." April pulled herself a little closer to the counter and spread her hands out over the surface. "Women flirt with you all the time."

"They do not!" Luke immediately objected.

"They do. I see them," April insisted. "And most of the time – all of the time, really – you won't give them the time of day. Now you're telling me that this particular woman, Taylor Doose's lawyer, of all things, comes in one day, and you're apparently interested enough to date her, marry her – but now you act as if she meant nothing to you at all? That doesn't make any sense!"

Luke felt empty and cold. His brain; his body – it was as if he'd been hollowed out from the inside. Slowly he made his way around the counter and sat down on a stool next to April. He spread his hands over the counter, too.

"April, the truth is…" He looked at her briefly, hoping that maybe she'd let him off the hook. "This whole thing with Nicole, none of it paints me in a very good light."

April looked at him appraisingly. "Was it a mistake?"

He nodded emphatically. "Huge."

"Well then, as my parent, don't you want to tell me about your mistakes so I don't grow up and make the same ones over again?"

Luke groaned and rested his head in his hand. "Not fair."

"Hey, I didn't make the rules. All I do is recite them."

He groaned again and wondered how to edit events down, but a moment later decided to just plunge in. "OK, you were right. She came in here and flirted with me."

"Aha!" April crowed.

"And…it was nice. It was nice to have a pretty lady – a smart lady – flirt with me. Maybe see me in a different way than everybody else in town did. I asked her out," he said with another shrug, leaving out the part about Jess goading him to do it.

"OK." April blew out a breath of air and shifted on her seat. "I guess my next question is, did dating her have anything to do with Lorelai?"

He turned to stare at her. "Why in the world would you ask something like that?"

"Because I can count. I've heard people talk about when the Dragonfly opened. I know when that was, and I've also heard that's when you and Lorelai started dating, and now I know that was just a little bit after you got divorced. Plus, you said Nicole was pretty and smart, and that she saw you differently than maybe some other 'pretty and smart' Stars Hollow women did. That sure sounds like Lorelai to me."

"Maybe you should think about going into psychology," Luke groused. "Or detective work."

"I have thought about both," April confirmed, unruffled by his comment. "Did you date Nicole to make Lorelai jealous?"

Again, Luke struggled with how to answer. To some degree, he understood that he was the adult and could put a stop to his daughter's inquisition at any time, but on the other hand, maybe she was right. Maybe he was duty-bound to steer her down a better path.

"Not jealous, no," he finally replied, quietly. "That was too much to even imagine. I guess, in the back of my mind, I wondered if it would at least make her notice. Like I said, to maybe think of me differently. And besides, Nicole was nice, she was fun to date. There were other reasons to date her. I _did_ enjoy her company."

"Enough to marry her, huh?"

Luke went silent again. "We went on a cruise."

"I'm sorry, what?" April frowned at his seeming non sequitur.

"Nicole and I. We went on a cruise. She wanted to." He looked beseechingly at April. "I didn't want to. I tried to find some reason not to go, but I couldn't."

"O-kay," April said slowly. "How does that –?"

"We went on the cruise, and we went insane, and we got married."

" _On_ the cruise? Like on the _Love Boat_? Did Captain Stubing marry you?"

Another shiver of recognition passed over Luke, but this time it was because April's comment sounded too much like Lorelai. "No Captain Stubing, no _Love Boat_ , but yeah. The captain married us."

"That's legal?"

Luke nodded. "Apparently."

"Why did you –"

"April, you can ask me a thousand times why I did it and I still won't be able to answer you. I don't know. I don't know why I agreed to it. I just don't know why it suddenly seemed like a good idea."

She studied him with that deep, calculating look again. "Were you drunk?"

He smiled tiredly. "If I say yes, will you let it drop?"

April sighed noisily. "Then what happened?"

"We came home, and we already knew that marriage was a terrible idea for us. Nicole started the legal process going to get us divorced, but then we decided to hold up for a while, see if maybe we could make it work after all. So we tried, but it wasn't good for either of us, so we gave up."

"Just like that?"

"Well, I think…" Luke faded off, then cleared his throat before continuing. "I think Nicole got tired of waiting for me to make a real commitment to her, and she…well, she found someone else. And once that happened, I figured there was no coming back after something like that. The smart thing to do seemed to be to sign the papers, get it over with, you know? Let her get on with her life."

April appeared to be dissecting what he said. "She _cheated_ on you?"

Luke thought about a whole range of replies, but finally settled on a simple "She did."

"That's terrible!" April fumed, angry on his behalf.

"It was, and at the time I was really angry, but now, looking back, I'm almost glad she did it. Got us out of the rut we were in."

"No, it was awful of her!" April was still fired up about it. "I can't understand how anybody could do something like that. Well, buh-bye, Nicole." She flounced on her seat. "I'm glad she's not around anymore."

April's fierce loyalty towards him made him smile. "Me too," he agreed, mainly to let her know he appreciated her defense.

"You know what? I promise you I'll never tell Mom about any of this." She bumped her shoulder against his, confirming her pledge.

"Whoa, now, I don't know about that. I don't want you to ever feel like you need to keep secrets from your mom. That sounds like a good way to get both of us in trouble."

"It's not a secret," April disputed. "You didn't tell me _not_ to tell her. It's my choice not to mention it to her. Because, Dad, honestly, this isn't info you'd want a judge in family court to know." She gave him a significant look. "You're right about it not being a shining moment for you."

"Well, when you put it that way…" Luke grimaced, and kicked himself again because he still hadn't retained a lawyer to look into his parental rights. What was he waiting for? In fact, why did it seem like he was _always_ waiting?

"I think I'm going to head upstairs," April decided, hopping off the stool. "Are you going to close up?"

"Yeah, I'll be up in a little bit." He stood up too. "Here, take the candy with you."

"Want another one?" April offered.

Luke shook his head. "Maybe tomorrow." He walked over to lock the door and turn the sign to 'closed.'

April gathered up the bags of goodies and started towards the back of the diner, but stopped after just a few steps. "I guess I have one more question."

"What?" he sighed, preparing for another barrage. He was busy closing the blinds and didn't look over at her.

"Do you have any pictures of Mom?"

His breath caught somewhere in his chest. He understood exactly what she was asking. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I do. We were together when I was trying to get the diner going, and I'm positive there are some pictures from then. Do you want me to find them for you?"

"No, I just wondered." She started to walk away again, but stopped after a few shuffling steps. "Did you love _her_?" she asked in a very quiet voice.

Luke swallowed hard. "April, I'm sorry…But no, it wasn't love between us."

"That's OK, I get it," she said, but still, she sounded disappointed. She took another half step towards the curtain before another thought made her pause.

"Did you love Lorelai?" she asked directly.

Once again he didn't answer immediately, but for a different reason this time. He didn't have to think this time about what to say. Instead, he took a moment to make sure his voice wasn't going to crack and give away more than what he was willing to admit.

"I did," he forced himself to say lightly. "That's why I know it wasn't love with anyone else."

April considered his statement for a minute before she nodded, accepting his reasoning. "See you upstairs," she said, and ducked through the curtain.

Luke discovered he'd been holding his breath. He blew it out while walking towards the kitchen. The candy bar wrappers tossed on the counter caught his eye, and a sudden suspicion made him snatch them up in his hand. He sprinted through the curtain.

"April! Wait. Hold up!"

She looked down at him from the upstairs hallway, and he waved the wrappers at her. "Where _did_ you get the candy?"

"Dad, come on. You _know_ where I got the candy." She continued towards the apartment door.

Luke took another step closer to the stairs. "But she _hates_ these!"

"Yeah, I know, she told me so." April opened the door, but turned to look down at him one more time. "She bought seven bags of them, though."

"But why – why would she do that?" a bewildered Luke asked.

"Gee, I don't know, Dad. Why do you think she did?" April disappeared into the apartment.

Luke continued to watch the apartment door for a while longer, almost wishing that April would come back and help him figure out the riddle of the candy. Eventually he understood that the chore of working that puzzle out belonged to him alone.

Fingering the wrappers, he went back to his closing duties.

Just once, he wished that something concerning Lorelai would turn out to be easy.

* * *

 **Author's Chat:** (I've decided to rename these little messages.) It looks like this particular story idea has caught the imaginations of a lot of you. This is really going to be a pretty simple story, so now I'm worried about disappointing you all! Anyway, here's the convo between Luke and April that we all wanted to hear. The next chapter is nearly halfway done, and the final one is currently nothing more than some disjointed lines in my head. If real life doesn't interfere too much, I hope to have this completed in the next few weeks. I hope you all had a happy Halloween!


	3. Day of the Dead Relationships

"See you tonight!" Lorelai called out. She twirled around dramatically, making the gold fringe on her second-hand shawl flutter as it settled about her shoulders. She threw back her head and did something that _could_ have been a variation of a flamenco step, if the observer felt especially kind. From the front of the studio, she heard Miss Patty's deep chuckle of appreciation at her antics.

She kept in character as she exited the dance studio, with more fancy faux footwork and her head held high. And then –

"Ow!"

"Oof!"

In her ongoing effort to always make a spectacle of herself, she'd run into someone on the sidewalk.

"Sorry," she gasped, in the split second _before_ she recognized the familiar feel of flannel under her cheek. "Sorry," she then repeated dully, completely mortified.

Luke put his hands on her shoulders, giving her a small push to help her stand back on her own two feet. "You OK?" he asked, his tone the same as it would have been last year, or two years ago, or a half-dozen years before that.

"Fine," she said, keeping her face downcast out of embarrassment. Then she saw her hands. "You did break my skull, though," she informed him, holding out the broken pieces of sugar cookie.

Luke's eyes took in the bright shawl she was wearing and the marigolds tucked into her loose curls before they settled on the crumbling cookie in her hands. "What's going on?"

She did her best to fit the cookie back together, so that he could see the intricate icing detail on the skull cookie. "Miss Patty's doing a Day of the Dead celebration. Weston's made special cookies for it."

He looked directly at her, frowning. "Day of the what, now?"

"Day of the Dead. _Dia de los Muretos_?" She did the best she could on the Spanish pronunciation. "It's a Mexican holiday, where they honor their ancestors that have gone on. They set up altars in their homes or go to the cemetery, and sort of throw a big party, to keep the memories of their loved ones from fading. It's a nice tradition."

"Oh, yeah, sounds great," Luke said, in exactly the sort of sarcastic voice she expected. "Real cheery."

"It is," she insisted. She almost took his hand to lead him inside so that he could see for himself, but then she remembered that it wasn't last year or two years ago or a half-dozen years before that. It was now, and they didn't touch anymore, or talk, or do anything except for the briefest of acknowledgments if they happened to pass on the street. So, she pretended she was instead aiming to drop the shattered cookie into her purse. "Come see," she urged him, returning to the dance studio's entrance.

He looked skeptical, but nonetheless followed her inside. Lorelai pointed to the front of the large room.

"See? Miss Patty's set up a beautiful table, with candles and lots of marigolds. Everyone's welcome to bring a picture of their loved ones to add to it." She stole a stealthy glance at his face and saw that he was beginning to see the sentiment behind it. "I just brought in a picture of Gran," she told him cheerfully. "She'd hate everything about this."

He turned to look at her, and slowly, a grin broke across his face. "You know, April was after me about pictures last night. I should find one of Louie and bring it over. He'd hate it, too."

Lorelai smiled back at him. "There you go. You're getting into the spirit of it."

With a more thoughtful gaze, he looked again at the front of the room. "Seriously, though, maybe I'll look for one of my mom and dad. Maybe add it to the table. April would probably like seeing a picture of them." He looked at her, a sheepish smile bringing out all of the best features of his face. "You're right – it is nice."

"It is," she agreed eagerly, momentarily blinded by that smile. "Remembering…" She suddenly got flustered right in the middle of her sentence. "It's nice. It is. Well, uh, I should…" She began to inch towards the door.

Luke followed her out. "Guess you had quite the talk with April last night."

Here it was, then. No escape. "We did," she said brightly, bobbing her head. "It was certainly a huge surprise to see her in my yard."

"It was a surprise to see the PayDays, too," Luke said dryly. "She had an awful lot of questions when she got home."

"I bet she did," Lorelai muttered under her breath. Louder, she said, "I'm sincerely sorry about that, Luke. I never meant to be such a tattletale. We were talking, and I was just doing my usual rambling stream-of-consciousness stuff, and things slipped out. I didn't mean to let so many cats out of the bags."

His eyebrows quirked upwards. "Well, I only know about one of the cats, so I guess I'll steel myself for whatever else she asks about next."

"That's what I meant." Lorelai recovered quickly. "One cat. That was it. Just the one cat slipped out."

"Eh." Luke shrugged. "Probably just as well."

Lorelai felt her own eyebrows shooting up. "You're not mad?"

"Nah. You know I'm not great at starting conversations. You probably did me a favor, clueing her in about Nicole. It gave us a start on all of that family history stuff she should know."

"Well…OK, then." Lorelai felt a bit off-balance at his tranquil acceptance. She'd been prepared for an angry rant. "Glad to help out." She smiled uncertainly and lifted her hand, intending to wave goodbye as she made her exit.

"I do have a question for you, though."

"For me?" she squeaked, as her heart rate immediately sped up. "What?"

"Why'd you buy all of the PayDays?"

It should have been an easy answer. Or at least, an easy lie to spin into a handy answer; a simple ad-libbed explanation about her crazy impulse buy. But instead, she began to blink hard as her throat clogged with unshed tears. It appeared that the candy bars were going to be the next unexpected thing to wreck her.

As he watched her struggle with her emotions, his own face changed, from deliberately laid-back to concern. "Forget it, Lorelai, it doesn't matter. I didn't mean –"

The tears escaped when she heard the tenderness in his voice. She whipped herself around to face the blank wall of Miss Patty's, not wanting him to witness her breakdown up close and personal. She soon heard him shift his position behind her, and realized that in order to give her a little privacy, he was trying to block her from the view of anyone else passing by on the sidewalk. His unexpected and undeserved kindness made the tears flow faster.

"Um, you know I don't have a handkerchief." She heard some rustling, and then his hand extended into her vision. "I do have some butt-napkins I could offer, though."

In spite of the tears, she laughed. "Why do you have butt-napkins?" She accepted them and began to mop off her face.

"I had to clean up a mess, earlier today, and grabbed up a fistful of napkins. I guess I stuck the ones I didn't need into my back pocket. Didn't think about it, until now."

"Lucky for me." She saw the black smudges on the napkin. "Great, I'm going to look like I've got clown makeup on. I should invest in some waterproof mascara." She blotted her eyes again and saw even more black streaks. "I'm going to need to find a restroom and do some major repairs," she lamented.

With the lightest touch imaginable, Luke put his hand on her elbow. "Come to the diner," he said quietly.

Instantly, Lorelai froze. "What?"

"Come to the diner," he suggested again, sounding more certain this time. "You can get yourself fixed up in the restroom. Maybe…" He faded off, but came back stronger. "Have a cup of coffee before you go."

For a moment, she wavered, both physically and emotionally. She felt the pull of him and her body began to lean back, heedless of her mental commands to keep her distance. Just the idea of being in his domain again was the best tonic her trampled heart could imagine.

With great effort, she regained control. "I can't," she whispered longingly, continuing to face the wall.

For a few beats of time, he said nothing. "You're still that mad at me?" he eventually asked, and she could hear the regret in his voice, as clearly as if she'd spoken the words herself.

"No." She turned around then, facing him bravely, even though the tears had started up again. She hoped that maybe he could recognize how sorry she was, even through the fresh tears. "I'm still that mad at me."

She let her eyes meet his, for one long, agonizing moment in time. Then she trudged away, no longer able to imagine herself as the quick-footed, lighthearted flamenco dancer from just a few minutes before.

* * *

When Lorelai finally made it home that evening, she immediately hung up the rose-patterned shawl and untangled the marigolds from her hair. She put on a beloved pair of jeans and her coziest sweater. Miss Patty was hosting a Frida Kahlo impersonator at the dance studio tonight, and Lorelai had planned to go, thought that maybe she'd even paint on a unibrow in solidarity, but after the shredding her heart had taken earlier in the day, she thought it best to stay in and hibernate. The safety of home seemed much more appealing.

She'd barely made it downstairs when someone knocked at the front door. She hurried to open it, assuming it was Babette, come to walk with her to Patty's.

Instead she beheld April, so incensed that the ends of her hair seemed to be crackling with rage. Before she could say a word, April unleashed her fury.

"Did you cheat on my dad?" she demanded.

On a different day, Lorelai might have been able to cope, maybe deflect April's anger, possibly even find an explanation that would lead them into having a memorable heart-to-heart. But not today. Hearing the ugly – but true – accusation shot at her from Luke's daughter was more than she could take. It churned up all of the emotions, all of the self-loathing she'd been fighting for months.

To shield herself, she turned to stone. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak, she couldn't focus on the angry teenager seething at her door.

"Is it true?" April yelled at her, and that shout seemed to release her legs. She turned and stumbled into the living room. After a certain amount of steps she bumped into the couch. She stopped then and slid to the floor, her back against the sturdy piece of furniture, and pulled her knees up to her chest.

Paul Anka, hearing the yelling, fled to the protection offered underneath Rory's bed.

The front door closed and April followed her into the room. She leaned over Lorelai, glaring at her. "Is that what you did to him? You _cheated_ on him?"

Lorelai was able to nod once before she buried her face against her knees.

"How could you do that!" April was on fire, pacing back and forth. "Didn't you love him?"

Lorelai turned her head to the side, but her vision was blurry. It took tremendous effort to swallow. "Still do," she whispered, almost to herself.

"Then how could you do such a despicable thing? How could you hurt him like that?" April wanted to know.

She wet her lips, then shrugged. "I don't know."

"You don't know? Well, that's great. Dad doesn't know how he ended up married. You don't know how you cheated on him. Maybe you two do belong together."

"I believed we did," Lorelai murmured, smiling sadly.

She closed her eyes, a kaleidoscope of diner visits bombarding her memory. "I don't know if you realize how long I've known Luke." She was speaking softly, but determined to make an effort to explain it to April, if she could get the painful words out. "Rory and I started going to the diner when she was a couple of years younger than you are now. We'd heard of the diner before that, of course, and knew Luke's name, but we didn't really meet until after we moved to this house, and I stopped in one morning for a cup of coffee. After that, I was hooked on the java."

"He was hooked too, apparently," April muttered. She sighed in irritation, then lowered herself down to the floor, facing Lorelai, and crossed her legs, Indian-style. "Go on. You liked his coffee, he liked you. Then what?"

Lorelai forced her head upright so that she could see April. "I don't think he _liked_ me," she disputed, frowning. "There were a couple of years at the beginning where I don't think I ever got a civil word out of him."

"Come on, Lorelai." April waved a dismissive hand at her. "Of course he _liked_ you – you were his type of pretty and smart woman."

The image of the horoscope floated through her mind. "Maybe so." She gave herself a little shake and focused on April again. "But see, right from the beginning, that was our problem. The no communication thing. I don't know if you've noticed, but your dad isn't much of a talker. Either he's mad and ranting, or he doesn't talk at all."

"Don't forget the sarcasm," April grudgingly added.

"True. There is that, too." Lorelai nodded and stretched out her legs, trying to get more comfortable on the floor. "Luke told me once that he was the type of guy who preferred to let his actions speak, and once he said that, I understood him better. I thought about all of the nice things I'd watched him do over the years. For example, he was so good with Rory, so protective of her. And oh, my goodness, the number of repairs he made to this house. He'd gripe, but he'd come over here and fix whatever he could. You know he took on raising your cousin Jess, even though that kid disrupted Luke's whole life. He did favors for his sister. He made sure his Uncle Louie had a proper funeral. Anyway, after he told me that fact about himself, I watched, and I realized how accurate it was. The rants, and the anger – even the sarcasm – didn't tell the whole story. What was important was what he _did_."

April reflected, then nodded. "I hate that I agree with you," she grumbled.

"Then maybe you'll understand this." Lorelai hunched over a little bit, preparing herself to delve into the awful part. "At the end…the end of us…it all flipped. Suddenly, everything he was saying was absolutely the exact thing he needed to say. But what he was doing…his actions…" She looked over at April, and tried to keep her lips from trembling. "The way he was treating me was the opposite of his words. And that's when I knew we weren't going to make it to a wedding day."

"So of course you had no choice to but run off and cheat on him."

"No! That's not when – there was a bunch of other stuff in-between. Mostly me begging him to let me in, to let me get to know you. Begging him to marry me, even if it meant running off and eloping. I knew I was losing him, and I wanted so desperately to keep him. I didn't even care if there was a big, fancy wedding, I just wanted it _done_."

April shook her head. "You knew about Nicole, right?"

"Um, yeah. Well, after the fact, anyway," Lorelai said, slightly confused.

"You knew they got married on that boat, right? Spur of the moment? Why did you think he'd want to do that again?"

Lorelai's mouth dropped open. "I…never once thought of that." She put her hand to her eyes. "I'm an idiot. You're right, you're absolutely right."

"Sorry," April muttered. "I know sometimes it gets annoying when I'm right."

"I'm just sorry you weren't around that night in May. Maybe you could have steered me past that terrible idea."

April looked at her coolly. "I _was_ around in May."

Lorelai bit down on a sudden sob that wanted to escape. "Yeah, you were," she acknowledged, fighting to get the words out past the tears.

"Sorry." April looked abashed. "I know that part wasn't your fault."

"Maybe it was. Sometimes I don't know anymore." She swiped her fingers underneath her wet eyes. "That last week was terrible. I just had the sense that the next time I saw Luke, it would all be over, so I hid. Avoided him. Somehow I thought that if I could just keep away from him, I'd be able to salvage the relationship. Crazy, huh?"

"Well…it doesn't sound exactly sane."

"And then, unbelievably, I had dinner with a psychologist, and I ended up talking her ear off. I said things to her that I'd never said to anybody, about how much Luke meant to me and how much I loved him. How desperately I wanted a life with him. I don't think…I'm pretty sure I'd never even said some of the things to him, even. So by the time I got back to Stars Hollow I was all fired up, ready to take a stand and get us moving on the right track." She smiled grimly, tears still trickling down her cheeks. "I was on a track all right, but I was too stupid to see the train barreling right for me."

April was intrigued enough to let some of her anger go. "Dad was the train?"

"No, I think my fear was the train. Or my belief that somehow I could force everything to change. Somehow I believed that an ultimatum would make your dad jump."

"Yeah, I can't see Dad jumping."

"No, he informed me right then that he would not be jumping. But I couldn't stop. I couldn't wait for him to maybe catch up. I was so frenzied that I had to go and do something! I couldn't handle just standing there and watching while he ended us. So I walked away…and he stayed right where he was."

"You thought…that was it?"

Lorelai clasped her hands over the top of her head, as if she was trying to hold herself together. "I walked away, April. He stayed rooted to the spot. His actions spoke. They told me everything I needed to know."

"So you thought you broke up," April said, in a more understanding tone.

"I…Honestly, I don't know what I thought. All I knew was that I was a mess. I was frantic. I still felt like I needed to move. I couldn't just stay in this house, so I left. I went." She looked over at April, no longer trying to stem her tears. "I went to a friend," she admitted, her voice quavering.

"A guy friend?" April asked, alarmed.

Lorelai nodded, crying harder.

"And you thought that would be a good idea? Seriously?"

"I thought – I just knew…" She gulped, wiped her cheeks, and tried to find words to explain. "I needed refuge, and I thought he'd be…But instead…Somehow we ended up –"

"Oh, so it's this guy's fault now?"

"No, no!" She pulled her knees up again and buried her face against them. "It's all my fault," she sobbed. "I know that. I know that every single part of it is my fault."

April was beginning to look uneasy as Lorelai's distress ramped up. "Hey, Lorelai, you want me to get you some water or something?"

But Lorelai didn't even hear April. She was still rambling on, trying to explain that terrible night to herself as much as to April. "I needed to go, to do something, anything! And he stayed. He didn't want to do anything. He just stood there, doing nothing. Just holding still, while –"

 _Will you just stand still?_

Lorelai gasped for breath, but couldn't seem to pull any air into her lungs. It felt like her heart stopped beating. She stared ahead into nothingness, suddenly hearing Luke's voice again. She trembled, remembering every celebrated moment from their first kiss.

 _Will you just stand still?_

"That's all he wanted," she mumbled, in agony. She finally understood it all. She began to retreat into her own little world of pain, forgetting that April was even there. "He just…he wanted me to stand still. And I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't even do that for him. I left. I ran. He stood still, and I ran away."

"Lorelai?"

Her bones and muscles couldn't hold her upright any longer. The acidity from her pain was eating them away. Slowly she collapsed to the floor, laying on her side, huddled into a deaf and mute ball of pain.

" _Lorelai_!" Terrified, April jumped to her feet. "Are you OK?"

But Lorelai was no longer conscious of anything except for the blinding hurt brought on by her terrible epiphany.

"Lorelai? _Lorelai_!" In a panic, April crawled over to her. She put her hand on her shoulder, but was scared to move her, long ago having memorized the rules of first aid. "Lorelai, can you even hear me?"

No response, except for a violent shivering that seemed to shake every part of her body.

"I'm…I'm gonna get help." April grabbed an afghan from the couch and securely tucked it around Lorelai's trembling body. "I'll be right back – I promise! I'll be right back!"

 _No, I'm fine,_ Lorelai said – or at least, she _though_ t the words as hard as she could. _Don't go. I'll be OK._

But by then it was too late. April was gone, the front door slamming closed behind her.

* * *

Luke couldn't figure out why the scouring powder wasn't doing the job on the stain in the sink. Then he realized he'd grabbed the salt container, not the cleanser.

It had been that sort of day.

Earlier that morning, his mind had still been fixated on the questions April had bombarded him with the night before. Hashbrowns over-browned while he replayed his answers and considered better responses. Pancakes burned as he worried about the other trickier questions she _could_ have asked, such as anything to do about Jess, or Rachel, or even something deeper about her own mother. He wondered how in the world he would have been able to navigate through questions like that.

Caesar came in about then, and suggested that he'd take over the grill duties, if Luke would handle the dining room.

Customers tried in vain to get coffee refills or to pay their bills, while Luke stared out at nothing, contemplating how many things he hadn't gotten right in his past.

That was when Caesar said that if Luke had errands to run, now might be a good time.

He put on his jacket and started walking down the street, still uncharacteristically occupied with analyzing his life, and that's when he ran into Lorelai. Literally.

After that chance encounter, his afternoon musings took a different path. Once again, the quality of service in the diner suffered while he thought about Lorelai. It was the first time in a very long while that he'd allowed any serious thoughts about her – about _them_ – to cross his mind. He asked himself the tough questions and tried to give honest answers, even though most of them made him flinch. He finally admitted to himself that their demise didn't rest solely on her pretty shoulders. He'd held back and made promises to her that he never kept. Finally he'd pushed her so far away that the night came where she couldn't find her way back to him.

He hung his head, humiliated once again, and silently pleaded with the universe to never let April ask him anything about that particular failure. He couldn't bear for her to know how shamefully he'd treated Lorelai.

Luke tried to get back to work, but running into Lorelai had completely derailed him. Talking to her, sharing some inside jokes again, had made him realize how much he missed their interactions. The stunning combination of her blue eyes and dark hair, dotted with the vibrant orange marigolds, knocked him out with her beauty. Feeling her against him again, however briefly, highlighted the loss of their shared intimacy. And most of all, her unexpected tears at his innocent question left him in turmoil. She was hurting, obviously, and still suffering from what she believed had been her betrayal alone.

That knowledge was now eating at him. He didn't want her hurting. He didn't want her suffering. He wanted – well, he wanted _his_ Lorelai back again, the one with the eyes bright with something besides tears, the one who could make a joke out of absolutely anything. The one who loved him, once upon a time.

He roused himself from his pondering trance again. He didn't know what good thinking about any of this was going to do. As far as he knew, she was definitely seeing the Slimeball again, and the thought of her with _him_ never failed to turn his stomach. Despondent, he turned back to cleaning the sink.

Suddenly, it sounded like all hell broke loose in the dining room. The door was wrenched open, making the hinges squeal. The bells chimed like crazy, and pounding footsteps headed to the kitchen. Luke grabbed a towel and ran to the doorway, ready to intercept the demon that was apparently coming for him. Which was probably just as he deserved.

But it was April who appeared, breathless, white-faced, and trembling. "Dad!" she gasped.

"What's wrong?" Instantly, Luke was beside her, trying to find the answer in her frightened face. "Are you all right?"

She could barely catch her breath. "I did – I did something awful!"

Luke realized she was close to tears. "Come on now, calm down. Tell me what's going on. Whatever it is, we'll fix it," he assured her.

"I don't know that it can be fixed!" She wiped her eyes as the tears spilled over. "I'm sorry – I'm so sorry!"

"April, it's OK." Luke had been cautious about physical signs of affection between them up to now, not wanting to push their boundaries – and also because he was very much aware of his awkward hugging technique – but he threw that all away in the face of April's distress. He put his arms around her, pulling her to his chest. "Hey, come on now. Let's hear what happened and we'll see about putting it right. How bad can it be?"

"It's bad! It's…it's Lorelai. I think…Oh, Dad, I think I broke her!"

Luke almost wanted to laugh at how silly that sounded, but then he saw the fear on April's face, and something equally fearful began to gnaw at him. "Take a breath, and then tell me exactly what you mean," he told her sternly.

April tried to do as he said. "I figured it out, what she did. What broke you guys up."

"How –?"

"Just from things you said last night, things she said. Look, that doesn't matter! I went over to confront her about it, because it made me mad that she did such a thing. And I yelled at her about it."

"Geez, April!" Luke was stunned. "You shouldn't have done that!"

"Ground me later, or punish me however – I don't care! Right now we need to get to Lorelai!" She grabbed his hand and tried to pull him out of the kitchen.

He put on the brakes. "April, seriously, I doubt that she wants us there. Especially me."

"Dad! You're not _listening_ to me! I _broke_ her!" April all but stamped her feet. "She's laying on the floor and I can't get her up! She needs us, now!"

" _What?"_ That fearful gnawing thing was feasting on him now. "Tell me exactly what happened!" he demanded. However, instead of waiting for her to explain, he rushed into the dining room.

"Sorry, folks," he told the few remaining diners. "We've got an emergency and I need to close immediately. Grab your food – don't worry about paying." He sprinted to the door and held it open, trying to hurry everyone out so he could lock up.

April nervously followed him around, trying to fill him in. "At first, it was OK, you know? She was shocked and…and hurt, I guess, but she talked to me. She was trying to explain. And then…and then she started crying, and pretty soon it was like she couldn't stop."

Luke hustled back into the kitchen, confirming the equipment was off. April kept hopping beside him, keeping up with his long gait. He kept listening, but everything she said was killing him.

"And then, and then…I don't know what happened, but she just…collapsed. Like she went catatonic, or something. It was so scary, and I didn't know what to do. And she just huddled up in this ball on the floor, and it was like she couldn't hear me, and…"

By now, Luke was marching down the back hallway, desperate to get to his truck.

April jumped into the passenger side of the cab, still talking nonstop about what had happened.

"…she said something about you wanting her to stand still…"

"Wait! What? Back up, say that again," he requested roughly, as the truck careened around the corner towards Lorelai's house.

"It was like a revelation to her, or something. She was telling about the night you broke up –"

"We didn't break up," Luke muttered.

"– and she said you didn't want to jump, but she did, she needed to go –"

"God damn it," Luke swore under his breath, forgetting who was in the vehicle with him.

"– and then she got this really weird, really sad look on her face, and she said you wanted her to stand still, and she couldn't even do that for you."

"God _damn_ it!" He jerked the pickup to a stop in her driveway and threw open the door.

April did the same.

"Whoa!" He leaned across the seat to grab her and hauled her back inside the cab. "Not you. I'm going in."

"No! I need to see her!" April insisted, fighting him.

"No way. You stay right here, you hear me?"

"But Lorelai –!" She started to cry again, tears of helplessness.

"April, there's no time to discuss this! I'll be back as soon as I can!" Luke jumped to the ground and headed to the door, breaking into a run after a step or two.

He took the stairs to the porch in two long strides. The front door, as he suspected, was unlocked. He knocked on it as he swung it open.

"Lorelai? It's just me. April thought I should come check on you," he called out, cautiously stepping inside. He closed the door, listening carefully for any response.

"Lorelai?" If possible, the too-quiet house was causing even more fear to slide down his spine. "Are you all right?" By now he'd reached the living room, and took a small degree of comfort when he didn't spy her body on the floor. "Lorelai?"

"I'm fine."

He turned in the direction of her feeble voice. "Are you in the kitchen?"

She didn't reply right away. "Don't come in here," she pleaded.

"Sorry, but I think I have to." He allowed himself to relax just a bit. He expected to see her at the kitchen table, drinking coffee, maybe paging through a magazine.

She was at the kitchen table, all right, but he'd gotten everything else wrong. Her head was laying on the table as if it was a pillow, and she was clutching an afghan around her. Even from across the room, Luke could see how pale she was, and how she was shivering uncontrollably.

"I'm fine," she repeated in a quivering voice, not moving.

"You don't look fine," Luke disputed, his worry right back at the top level. "You look lousy."

"You always did know just what to say to make a girl feel special." Her voice was weak, and she still didn't move, but hearing some of her usual spunk make him feel a little bit better.

He pulled out a chair and sat down beside her. "April's scared to death. She's afraid she killed you."

Lorelai groaned. "Sorry. I just got to where I couldn't talk anymore. Or listen. Or…anything, I guess. I'm sorry I scared her. That wasn't my intention – not that I had any control over what I was doing at the moment."

"I'm sorry she came over here and thought she had the right to stir this all up again."

She moved her head against the table, shaking it. "No, that was OK. She loves you, Luke. She was going to battle for her daddy. I get it."

"I want you to know I didn't tell her any of it. She figured it out on her own, and didn't run it by me first. I had no idea she had it in her head to come over here."

Lorelai sighed wearily. "She's a smart girl."

"Too smart," Luke muttered. He'd been looking around the kitchen, and spotted the bottle of tequila and a partially-filled glass on the counter. "You've been drinking?" he asked, as neutrally as possible.

"Tried."

"What's that mean?"

"I thought maybe a good stiff drink would help to snap me out of…whatever sort of fit I was having." She finally opened her eyes, but didn't try to look up at him. "I was wrong. The first sip hit my stomach and bounced right back up."

Luke winced. "You got sick?"

"Oh yeah. Big time." Her eyes closed again, but a trace of a smile turned her lips upwards. "Actually made me feel better, though, afterwards, so maybe it was worth it."

"Sorry," he murmured. "You want me to make you anything now? Coffee? Or water, soda?"

She shuddered. "Yuck. No."

For some reason, his hand decided it should cradle the back of her head, maybe because sitting together in the kitchen made it all seem so normal. Feeling her hair under his fingers again brought a lump to his throat.

"Luke?"

He cleared his throat. "Yeah?"

"Please don't touch me."

He stilled his fingers, but didn't remove them. "Why?"

"Because if you keep touching me, I will cry. I've cried so much, yesterday and today. If I cry anymore, I'm scared that my eyeballs will dissolve."

"You cried yesterday, too?"

"I cry most days."

He pushed his fingers through her thick layer of hair, until his fingertips hit her scalp. He began to massage, the way he used to when she had a headache, or was too stressed to sleep. He felt her shiver under his touch.

"What makes you cry?"

"When you've done something so stupid that you lose the love of your life, crying pretty much comes with the territory."

Her admission made him go still. He blinked a couple of times, processing it, and then he had to clear his throat again. "I don't want you to cry. In fact, I really wish you wouldn't."

"I wish a lot of things, Luke. Wishes are useless. This is where we are."

Tenderly, he caressed the back of her head. "Lorelai, have you ever thought that maybe we could –"

"Is it OK for me to come in yet?"

The interruption made Lorelai's head shoot up and Luke's hand fly back to his lap.

"Of course!" Lorelai pressed one hand against her forehead and Luke could see it was still shaking, but she smiled and tried to put on a good show for April's benefit. "Look, I'm just fine! I'm sorry I gave you a scare!"

April's face crumpled up, ready to cry, and rushed across the room to Lorelai. Lorelai stood up unsteadily, and Luke stood up too and put an arm behind her back, not sure if she'd be able to withstand the exuberant greeting coming her way.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" April said over and over, allowing Lorelai to cuddle her, somewhat to Luke's surprise.

"Sweetie, there's no reason to be sorry. I'm fine, and you had a perfect right to tell me how you felt," Lorelai said soothingly, rubbing her back.

"No, I was mean. I shouldn't have been mean," April disputed. "I wasn't thinking."

"Remember what I told you the other night? You are already so far advanced beyond most so-called adults because you're willing to tackle the hard conversations. Don't be rough on yourself because of that."

April shook her head. "But I let my emotions guide me. I should have been calmer, so we could have had a real talk. Instead, I attacked you, before even hearing your side. I'm sorry I hurt you." She stopped talking and reconsidered. "Well, I guess I _did_ mean to hurt you, but I'm sorry now. I was mad about what you did to Dad."

Lorelai nodded gravely. "I understand. I don't blame you. I'm mad about that, too."

"Can we still be friends?" April asked earnestly.

Lorelai took a step back in surprise, bumping into Luke. She cast a wide-eyed look at him, wondering how to respond. "Um, you _want_ to be friends with me?"

"Of couse I do! Shouldn't we be?"

She glanced quickly at Luke again. "Well, I guess we can run that by your mother –"

"I think it's fine," Luke said, making up his mind on the spot. "If Anna needs…persuading…I'll handle it."

"Thanks, Dad," April said, giving Lorelai another hug. Lorelai looked shell-shocked.

"We should probably head back to the diner," Luke told April. "You've got school tomorrow, and Lorelai could probably use some peace and quiet."

"Oh, all right," April pouted, but then she smiled at Lorelai. "Thanks for forgiving me."

"Thanks for wanting to be my friend," Lorelai said, sounding amazed.

"Go wait in the truck. I'll be out in a minute," Luke said to April.

"OK, bye! Maybe I'll see you over the weekend," April suggested, and walked out of the room. They heard the front door open and close.

Luke looked around the kitchen, reluctant to go. "Sure you don't want something to eat? Maybe some toast? Soup and crackers?"

"No, nothing yet. Thanks, though." She sighed wistfully. "Even now, you're still taking care of me."

"That's because –" He suddenly gave in to what felt right. He stepped close to her, then reached out and enveloped her in his arms. "I don't want to leave you," he whispered. He dropped his head to hers, and the familiar scent of her shampoo made him want to cry. He detected a slightly bitter scent there too, and realized that was leftover from the marigolds tangled in her curls earlier in the day. "I shouldn't leave you."

For one long, wonderful moment, she responded, embracing him back, burying her face into his chest. But then, too soon, she pushed herself away. "Luke, even if we existed in some universe where such a thing would be permissible, you can't."

"Why –?"

"Because your daughter is sitting in your truck, waiting for you."

"Oh." He blinked a couple of times. "Yeah. Um, right." He took a few steps away from her and crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at the floor.

"She always comes first, Luke, always. That's what being a parent is all about. I know that better than anyone. That's why I should have known how things would end up between us." She looked at him regretfully, sadly, but unwavering. "She comes first."

He nodded, but he wanted to argue. He wanted to dispute her logic. Surely there was a way to have their daughters, as well as something more.

"You're sure you're OK to be alone?" he grumbled instead.

"Positive."

"Call me if you need me," he encouraged her, and walked unwillingly across the kitchen to the door.

"Goodnight," she said firmly, staying put in the kitchen. He heard the chair scrape against the floor, and figured she was sitting down again.

He found April waiting for him on the other side of the door. "This isn't the truck," he pointed out, taking the time to lock the front door behind him. He twisted the handle, making sure it was secure.

"Do you really think she's OK?" April asked anxiously, following him down the steps.

"No," he said shortly.

"But we're just going to leave her here?" April protested.

"There's nothing else we can do tonight. Get in the truck." He opened the door and got in himself.

April got in on her side. "This isn't right."

"No, it's not." He started up the truck and backed out to the street. "That's why we're going home and you, Miss Smarty-pants, are going to help me figure out a plan."

"I'm good at plans," she said eagerly.

Luke smiled. "That's what I'm counting on."

* * *

 **Author** **Chat:** Whew, we made it through the rough chapter! Hope you didn't need too many butt-napkins. At least they're in a much better place, and ready for some real communication next time.


	4. All Saint's Day, Slightly Delayed

"You're sure you're good with everything? You don't need to go over it again?"

Luke glanced out of the truck's side window, so that April wouldn't see his smile. "No, I think I'm good."

"Because we've still got a couple of blocks before we get to school. There's still time to reassess."

"I think it's the perfect plan. There's no need to reassess."

April frowned. "I don't know. There's an awful lot you're leaving to chance. What are you going to do if she –"

"Then I'll reassess on the fly." He leaned over and patted her hand. "It's a good plan, April. Thanks for helping me figure out the details."

"You're welcome, but Dad –"

"This is where you need to leave it up to me. You've got to trust that I want this to work, too. I promise I won't screw it up."

April huffed out a breath of impatience as Luke pulled to a stop outside of her school. "OK, fine. Then there's just one more thing." She unbuckled her seat belt and scooted over close enough to flip off his ever-present baseball cap. "Do not wear the hat."

"Hey!" Luke scrambled to retrieve the hat from the floor. "For your information, I wasn't planning on it."

"Good, because it's ugly."

He studied the plain black hat. It looked inoffensive to his eyes. "Why is it ugly?"

"It doesn't fit you right, for one thing. It makes your head look tiny. And black is not your color. It drains the life from your face." April shook her head. "You used to have that blue one – what happened to it? That one was great. I mean, if you _have_ to wear one. The blue one matched your eyes and drove all of the ladies crazy, according to Miss Patty."

"I wear a hat because I'm handling food," he told her, slightly irritated. "And I'd rather that you not rely on Miss Patty for fashion dos and don'ts."

April chuckled. "Hey, Miss Patty's fun."

"Well, you won't have to worry about the hat. I thought that I'd…you know, dress up a little bit." He shrugged. "Let her know that I see this as something important."

April smiled and hugged his arm. "OK, maybe you do know what you're doing after all." She opened her door and jumped to the ground, reaching back into the cab for her stuffed book bag. "Good luck. I'll have my fingers crossed."

"Thanks. You have fun, OK? Remember, you can call me no matter what time it is if you need me. You know that, right?"

"I do know that." April shut the door, then smiled at him through the window before she turned and ran to find her group of girlfriends.

Luke sat and watched until they all walked through the school's front door. Then he scrutinized the black hat one more time before he tossed it disdainfully onto the passenger side of the seat.

* * *

Lorelai jumped when someone knocked on her office door. Normally she wasn't the type to close her door, but today she needed to cut down on distractions as much as possible. After the events of the night before, she was finding it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything. Her mind kept wandering away from the marketing plans she was supposed to be perusing. She glanced at the clock and was surprised to see that it was nearly lunchtime. Apparently woolgathering was more time-consuming than she realized.

"Come in," she called out, taking off her glasses. She looked at the door, expecting to see Michel or Sookie.

"Hi." Luke stuck his head in past the door, just enough to see her. "It's OK if I come in?"

Lorelai's glasses slipped from her hands. "Sure – sure. Of course." She pushed her chair back from her desk and dove for her dropped glasses, mainly to hide her shocked face. And here she thought nothing could ever surpass the surprise of April showing up at her house. "Come on in," she said, returning to an upright position. She ran her hands over her hair and tugged her jacket straight, trying not to let him see how flustered she was.

"I'm not interrupting?" Luke stepped fully into her office, looking as if he was on his way to a meeting at the bank. He pushed the door partially closed, but was careful not to shut it completely.

"No, I was ready for a break." Lorelai couldn't stop her greedy eyes from taking in every bit of his damn fine fashion choices. Such a crime, that a man with his assets insisted on hiding them under the layers of flannel. It was only after she'd surreptitiously ogled him from the top of his hatless head to his dress shoes that she noticed the vintage-looking picnic basket on his arm. "Um, sorry buddy, but you're about four months too early for Bid-a-Basket day."

Luke smiled at her, and she swore that her heart actually stopped beating. He pointed at her desk. "Can you clear that off some, maybe?"

For a smile like that, she would have set the thing on fire. "No problem," she assured him. She swept up the piles of papers and dropped them unceremoniously to the floor. She had no idea what was going on, and frankly, she didn't care.

He chuckled a little bit at her extreme cleaning method. "OK, that works." He sat the picnic basket down on one of the chairs in front of her desk and opened up the lid.

First he took out a paper placemat and put that on the desk in front of her. Next he pulled out a napkin dispenser, as well as one of the small battery-powered lights that used to reside on the diner's tables, and arranged them next to the placemat. He went back to the basket and this time pulled out a small glass jar, filled with marigolds and baby's breath.

Lorelai gasped and put one hand over her heart, unable to believe what she was seeing. "Luke…what _is_ this?"

He shrugged, not meeting her eyes, and instead turned back to the basket. "The flower shop still had marigolds left over from yesterday."

"I don't mean just the flowers – although they're delightful. I mean this. All of this." She waved her hands at him, the apparently bottomless basket, and the items he'd placed on her desk. "What's going on?"

"You said you didn't feel like you could come to the diner." He proceeded to put a double-decker burger and a Styrofoam box of fries in front of her. "So I brought the diner to you."

Lorelai pulled in a sharp breath through lips that were trembling. She blinked hard, trying not to let his unbelievably sweet generosity completely undo her.

Luke paused and leaned on her desk, giving her a stern look. "If you cry, I'm going to think I've failed."

She shook her head, swallowing the tears. "No failure here," she assured him in a choked voice. "This is perfect. And amazing. And perfect."

"Good. Because I don't want you to cry and have to stand here and watch your eyeballs dissolve." He smiled again, teasing her. "Your eyes are way too pretty to have them go to waste like that."

Dear God, on top of everything else…was he _flirting_ with her? She could only stare at him with her mouth open, stunned beyond her brain's capacity to react.

Meanwhile, he added a piece of pie and a gigantic cup of coffee to the bounty spread before her. "And, because hope springs eternal…" He produced one more Styrofoam container and popped open the lid, revealing a salad. "With both blue cheese _and_ ranch," he pointed out, sounding ever so pleased with himself.

"Luke, thank you. I can't…" She shook her head, looking over her banquet. "You've succeeded in taking the words right out of my mouth."

"Meat Loaf, right?"

"There's meatloaf, too?" She looked eagerly at the basket of miracles.

Luke laughed. "No, I meant the song."

"Oh!" Lorelai laughed too, but then ducked her head in embarrassment as the next line of the lyric echoed plainly in her head. _Must have been while you were kissing me…_

"Anyway, enjoy." Luke suddenly seemed ill at ease too, maybe because his memory had skipped to the end of the refrain. _I was just about to say I love you…_

"Sure you don't want to stay and share this with me?" She picked up the container of salad and pointedly held it out towards him. "There's plenty."

"No, I should get back." He turned towards the door, but almost immediately turned to face her again. "There is something I wanted to ask you, though."

"Ah. So it's true. There is no free lunch."

Luke smiled faintly. "The lunch is still free. I was just wondering if we could…well, talk about everything we've been through."

Lorelai's head snapped up in alarm.

"Not now," he said quickly. "I figure you didn't get much sleep last night, and neither did I, to be honest. And right now, I want you to eat and enjoy your meal. I was just hoping to maybe set a time when we _could_ discuss it. Sometime when you might feel up to it."

"You want to talk about it?"

"No," he said wryly. But then he smiled again, sort of wistfully. "But it seems like maybe both of us have some erroneous ideas stuck in our heads about what happened. Maybe it would help to sit down together and hash it all out."

Lorelai swallowed hard and realized she was nervously wringing her hands. "That sounds like a very mature thing to do."

He shrugged. "Must be from hanging around with April all the time."

"Must be." She took a deep breath. "Why don't you let me find wherever I pitched my appointment calendar and I'll get back to you?" She cringed, hating how business-formal she sounded.

"Sure, that works," he said briskly. "Eat your lunch," he ordered, stepping to the door. "That includes the salad."

The door closed, and she was alone with the hamburger and fries and her pounding heart. She stared at all of the food he'd prepared, just for her. The smell of the coffee alone was making her dizzy. Her eyes came to rest on the jelly jar full of marigolds.

She was out of her chair, through the door, and running across the lobby before she had a chance to reconsider. She caught him descending the Dragonfly's front steps. "Luke, wait! Wait!"

He stopped and turned around, looking surprised.

"What if I…" She had to stop for a moment to catch her breath. "What if I came by the diner tonight? Maybe about when you were ready to close?"

"Tonight?"

"Yeah. Well, unless you've got other plans. I mean, it _is_ Friday, and maybe you're –"

"No, of course not. It's fine. It's great, actually."

"Sure?"

He rolled his eyes at her, and suddenly they were both smiling because of that familiar and completely expected gesture. "Tell you what, I'll even save whatever coffee is still in the pot for you."

"Just like old times," she quipped.

His expression turned pensive. "Maybe even better," he suggested, almost shyly. He shook his head then, as if he'd never expected hear such a syrupy sentiment come out of his own mouth. "See you later," he said, and made a quick dash for the truck, putting an abrupt end to any other potentially embarrassing comments.

Lorelai waved as he left, then went back to her private feast. She ate everything – even the salad – while wondering if possibly she was now reading too much into his actions.

* * *

Lorelai was fine until she got to the last step and was face-to-face with the diner's door. She'd changed into jeans and a comfortable top when she got home, and kept herself from fussing too much with her hair or makeup. She'd jumped in the Jeep and drove to the center of town, parked, and walked across the street, all without too much angst. It wasn't until there was nothing left to do but turn the doorknob and walk inside that she was hit with the gravity of what she was doing.

Luckily, Luke looked up and saw her, and waved her in, which left her with no choice but to open the door. She took a deep breath and crossed the threshold.

"Too early?" she called out, then winced. Her voice seemed to echo in the quiet diner.

"No, right on time." He walked over and flipped the sign, then locked the door. "Haven't had a customer in a good half hour or so." He closed a few more of the window blinds.

"Kirk, of course," Lorelai said knowingly.

"Of course. I've never understood why he can't stock crackers and milk at his own house."

"Well…You've met his mother, right?"

"True. Maybe that's why he works 17 different jobs, just to get out of the house."

"Maybe." Lorelai began to amble towards the counter.

"Why don't we go ahead and sit at a table? Might be more comfortable than sitting on a stool."

"Good idea." Lorelai changed her path slightly, heading to the table closest to the kitchen.

Luke stepped behind the counter and filled a mug with coffee. He pointed at the basket she was carrying. "You know you're about ten months too late for Bid-a-Basket Day, don't you?"

"Ha-ha. Yes, I'm aware." She hung her coat on the back of her chair and then sat down primly. "I just thought you'd probably like to have your diner stuff back." She smiled at him as he placed the coffee in front of her. "I kept the flowers, though. I can bring back the jelly jar later, if you miss it."

He smiled too, as he took his seat. "Might come in handy, if I ever get another Thanksgiving bouquet."

Her stomach did a small flip-flop. "Do you _want_ a Thanksgiving bouquet?" she asked quietly, not looking at him.

He didn't answer immediately. "I guess that's why we're here tonight, isn't it? To get us on the road to answering questions like that?"

She hadn't expected such a direct response from him, and it rattled her. To cover, she took a sip of coffee. "Hmm." She smacked her lips. "This does not taste like bottom-of-the-pot coffee."

"I might have made a fresh pot," he admitted, with that sheepish smile that had never failed to charm her.

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Do you have something stronger, in case we need it?"

He shrugged. "There's beer upstairs."

"I was thinking Prozac or Valium, but OK."

Luke leaned forward and lightly bumped his knuckles against her hand. "It's OK, Lorelai. We don't have to tackle everything tonight. This is just a way to start."

"OK." She took another gulp of coffee. "Then I'll get us started." She opened the basket and pulled out bag after bag of PayDay candy bars. "I thought you deserved to know the truth about these."

"Geez, what'd you do, buy out the store?" Luke poked at the stack of bags spilling over the table.

"Yes."

His eyes jumped to her face. "Why?"

Lorelai took a deep breath, prepared to do what amounted to a trust fall. "The obvious answer is you. I saw them, thought of you, and bought them all."

He held her eyes for a moment, glanced again at the mountain of candy, then gave a quick nod, as if he understood.

"The longer answer – the harder answer – is something a lot more complex." She toyed with the handle on the mug, thinking about how much she'd missed even this simple thing, the feel of the ceramic under her thumb. "I didn't take very good care of you when we were together, Luke, and I wish like everything I had. I wish that last Halloween, or the year before that, or whenever I first discovered you had a fondness for these, I wish I would have bought out the store then. I wish I would have spoiled you to death."

"If I'd eat all of these, I might be close to death, all right."

"That's not the point. The point is, you like these, and instead of acknowledging that and indulging you, what did I do? The same thing I always did. I made fun of your choice. I teased you. I launched a lengthy argument to prove how superior every other candy on the market is to these."

Luke sat back in his chair, crossed his arms, and looked at her with some bewilderment. "That's just you, Lorelai. It's not like that offended me or anything. Who cares if we like the same candy or not?"

"That is me," Lorelai agreed. She pointed to the mug. "And this is you. Making a fresh pot of coffee just because you knew I was coming over here tonight."

He shrugged. "Not a big deal."

"But it is! That's what I'm trying to tell you." She sighed. "You've taken care of me since the day we met, practically. Coffee, food, home repairs, a shoulder to cry on. You've been my staunchest ally. God, Luke – you made me a chuppah when I was going to marry another guy! Who does that?"

He stared at her, frowning. "I lectured you pretty good about marriage, first. The chuppah was my apology for thinking I had the right to do that."

"You _did_ have the right – but I'm getting off track here. You did a million things for me over the years, and I let you. I'm sure I looked like some spoiled, entitled rich girl, but that's not why I kept taking advantage of you."

He looked irritated. "You didn't take advantage of me."

"I did! I readily admit it. I'll even tell you why. It's because for so many years, I didn't have anybody taking care of me or looking out for me. It was me, on my own – even while I lived with my parents, to be honest. We had maids, cooks for the household stuff – but sometimes I feel like I raised myself. And then, of course, after I had Rory…" She shook her head. "Then I was the caregiver. I was in charge. Rory was 100% my responsibility, every day, every hour. Next came a job where I had to be in charge, too. A house. A life. All on my shoulders."

Luke was listening attentively, and he nodded.

"So when you came along and started doing some of these special things, just for me, and for no reason other than to be nice to me, I ate it up. It felt so good, to be pampered like that. For the couple of minutes it took to gobble down my burger with the extra slice of cheese on it, I could let all of the worries and responsibilities slide off my shoulders. I _could_ feel like a spoiled, entitled rich girl for a little bit, and it was heavenly. I just wish I would have tried to take care of you, too."

"You took care of me fine."

"I'm not talking about in bed."

"Geez! I'm not either!" he exploded. "The ally thing went both ways, Lorelai. I can think of plenty of times when you had my back. Taking care of you was not a chore to me. I liked knowing your roof wasn't leaking over your head or that you could grab the railing on your porch and it wasn't going to come loose. I liked knowing you were safe, and warm, and fed. Even caffeinated, for that matter." He pointed at the cup. "I know I lectured you plenty about that, but I knew what your day was like. I knew you needed the coffee to make it through. The bottom line was that I was happy if you were happy."

"You crawled underneath my house, looking for termites. You tried to finagle the cost of the repairs."

He looked at her coolly. "You went to bat for Rachel. Tried to convince me she was serious about staying with me."

Lorelai blinked a couple of times. "Man, I did, didn't I?" She chuckled grimly. "What an idiot I was."

"That's a different conversation," Luke said dryly.

"Yeah, that's for sure. How long have you got?" She shook her head before gulping down some more coffee. "Bottom line for me is that I regret not showering you with attention when I had the chance, and somehow these yucky candy bars are the thing that made me realize that. I scooped them up, trying to atone for past neglect. So, enjoy them now." She patted the top of the candy tower, and one of the bags slid off and dropped to the floor.

"Would you mind if I put them out in a dish beside the cash register, and let customers take one if they want it? Even with April's help, there's no way we're eating all of these before next Halloween."

"You think you would have picked up some gluttony skills from us after all these years, but sure, they're yours. You're free to give them away if you want." She suddenly zeroed in on the top of his head. "Oh wow, _that's_ what's missing! I kept thinking something was wrong. Where's your hat?"

"April told me not to wear it anymore. She says it's ugly."

Lorelai snorted a laugh. "Way to go, April! That girl is a winner in every way."

Luke pinned her with a look. "She says I should go back to wearing the blue one."

"Does she know –?"

"No."

"Ah." Lorelai picked up the mug and took another sip, not knowing what else to do. "Is that a decision we'll know after tonight too?"

"Maybe." Luke took the mug away from her, went behind the counter, and topped it off with more coffee. He sat it back in front of her, then shifted uneasily on his feet. "So, what do we talk about next?"

"Don't know. Guess I should have made a roulette wheel, with all of the possible topics on it. Then we could have just given it a spin, see where it landed."

Luke sighed, taking his seat again. "That almost sounds like a summary of our relationship."

Lorelai laughed, albeit sadly. "Yeah."

"You look like there's something on your mind," he observed, studying her face. "You've got a topic you want to hit?"

"I do…and I don't."

"Go for it."

"Um, OK." Lorelai steeled herself. "Then, Anna."

" _Anna_?" Luke sat straight up, giving her a fierce look. "Why the hell would you want to talk about her?"

"Because you had a baby with her? Because I've seen her? Because you let her call every shot since the first time April walked in here?" Lorelai couldn't keep the anger out of her voice.

Luke sat and glared at her, breathing hard, but didn't reply immediately. She could tell he was dissecting what she'd just said. "You think I'm still carrying a torch for her, or something?"

"That would sure explain a lot."

"Not everyone wants to run back to their exes, Lorelai," he snapped.

That hurt, and Lorelai inhaled sharply. "Ouch," she whispered, bending her head.

"Sorry," he said petulantly. He took a deep breath himself and reconsidered. "No, I _am_ sorry I said that. Maybe if we're going to do this, we need some ground rules. I know some of the stuff we're going to say is going to hurt, and there's no way around that, but maybe we should promise not to hurl around the deliberately hurtful things."

"That's a nice idea in theory, Luke. I'm just not sure that when we get into the meat of it all we'll be able to hold back."

He nodded thoughtfully and looked down at the table. "Was that dirty? Because it sounded dirty."

A surprised laugh burst out of Lorelai. "Not intentionally."

He lifted his head and smiled at her. "We'll just do our best, then."

"OK. We'll strive for civility."

"So." He drummed his fingers on the table. "Anna, huh?"

"Yes."

"You really thought that Anna was, what? A threat to us?"

Lorelai considered all of the ways she could answer that. Ways that would somehow shield her deepest fears and insecurities, and keep her from having to be completely honest, but instead she sighed and said, "Yes."

Luke shook his head at her. "Why?"

"Because of all of the things I already said. She's unbelievably gorgeous, Luke."

He scoffed. "Have you seen you?"

"Seriously? There's no comparison."

"I agree. She's attractive, but you're a knock-out."

"Stop it. I'm not doing this so you can sit here and flatter me."

"Oh for – I'm not flattering you! In my eyes, you're the unbelievably gorgeous one. Anna can't hold a candle to you!"

Lorelai put up her hands. "Fine, whatever. Moving on. You had a baby with her."

"That I didn't know about," Luke said bitterly.

"But still, you were in a relationship close enough that a baby happened."

"What? I'm supposed to apologize now for having sex with a woman I was dating? Long before I even knew you, I might add."

"No! I mean…I know _you,_ Luke. I can't imagine you leaving stuff like that to chance. And if you were that close to Anna, then it sounds like it was a pretty serious relationship, and that makes me think you were totally committed to it – and to her."

"You're conjecturing all of this just because she got pregnant? Is that how it was when you got pregnant, Lorelai?" he asked bluntly.

"I was fifteen," she said coolly. "And an idiot. Which we've already established."

He continued to glare at her for a few more moments before his face softened. "OK. Let me take this down a notch or two, and give me a minute to get my thoughts together. If you really want to hear about it, I'll tell you. Just be aware…" For some reason, he chuckled despondently, and shook his head. "This is another thing I've done in my life that doesn't paint me in a very good light."

"I find that hard to believe, but OK, if you say so. I definitely want to hear it."

"Then here we go. I suspect that Anna deliberately got pregnant."

Lorelai's mouth dropped open. "What? You mean, without telling you?"

"Exactly."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because…Oh, dear God." Luke suddenly cradled his head in his hands. "Do we really have to go through all of this?"

"You bet we do, bucko."

"Because at the end, she was starting to hint around that she'd like a baby, and I said absolutely not, but now it appears she got pregnant after all. It just seems mighty convenient, doesn't it?"

"She'd _do_ that?"

"Let me fill you in a bit about Anna." Luke sighed. "I met her after I was convinced that Rachel was permanently out of my life. I'd learned my lesson with dating Stars Hollow girls, though, and having the whole town look over your shoulder, so I went elsewhere, and one night, at one particular bar, I happened to meet Anna."

"Because she was gorgeous," Lorelai muttered, not able to help herself.

"Yes, fine, she was pretty. She was funny, and bright, and we hit it off, OK?"

"Not even remotely OK, but yes…I understand. Go on."

"At first, it was good. It was fun. It was a low-stress relationship. If we had time, we saw each other, and if we didn't, it was no big deal. Both of us were trying to get businesses going, so we understood if a week or two went by without a date. We could always pick up from where we left off."

"Because the sex was great," Lorelai grumbled.

"Geez, Lorelai! Yes, it was! Is that what you want to hear? We hooked up because the sex was great! You're not the only one who was once young and foolish. Seems to me I remember you sitting right here one day, telling the diner at large how great it would be to _get some_ , so don't go judging me!"

"Sorry," she said, cringing. "I'll try to shut up."

"No, I don't want you to shut up. I just want you to let me tell this without interrupting every five seconds!"

"Noted. Go on."

"Anyway, that's how things went with us for a while, until finally the sex stopped blinding me and I began to see how mean Anna was."

"Mean?"

"To her core. She took so much pleasure in zinging people. It was like breathing to her. If she saw something that she could use to humiliate someone, she had to say it."

"Um, Luke? That, uh, sounds sort of familiar to me," she said, troubled.

"No, nowhere near the same," Luke said firmly, pointing at her. "The things you say never come from a place of meanness. You're either trying to be funny or you speak before you think. And when you see you've gone over a line, you bend over backwards to take it back and smooth things over. Anna meant to put people down. She loved seeing them shrivel before her, and it didn't matter who it was: people at the next table in a restaurant, the guy taking tickets at the theater, some random person walking their dog." He stopped for a moment, bit down on his lips. "Or, it could be me. Often, it was me. She didn't care."

"Sometimes I'm mean," Lorelai said meekly, trying to be honest.

"Not like her. Trust me on that." Luke sighed. "So if I don't think she's pretty now, maybe that's because I know how ugly she really is."

"I'm trying to assimilate all of this." Lorelai pointed at her head. "Trying to change my perception."

"When April first showed up, you have to understand, I didn't think it was going to be a major thing in my life."

"To have a child?" Lorelai rebuked him.

"First off, I didn't really believe she was mine. Secondly, if she'd been raised by Anna, I already knew I didn't want her in my life. I could only imagine how damaged and nasty this kid was. I thought if it was true, there'd be some financial stuff to take care of, but nothing long-term. No real relationship."

"Or any real reason to tell your fiancée."

He glared at her. "No deliberate hurting, remember?"

"I remember. Just showing you that I _can_ be mean, too." Lorelai pouted for another moment, but found enough to maturity to move on. "What changed?" she asked grudgingly.

"I fell in love with April."

Her head shot up. "You did? Aww, Luke!" She pushed the bags of candy out of the way and leaned across the table far enough to put her hand on top of his, smiling delightedly. "You old softie, you!"

The expression on his face changed, from stoicism to something that looked like misery.

"What's wrong?" she asked, genuinely concerned.

He brought his other hand up to cover hers. "I'm what's wrong," he confessed. "You're this good-hearted person, and I'm the real idiot." He squeezed her hand. "I'm sure this will be coming up again directly, but let me get my first 'I'm sorry' in here now. I handled every single thing about April wrong." He squeezed her hand again. "I'm sorry, Lorelai."

Even though she'd longed to hear him say that for so long, the words now made her uncomfortable. She pulled her hand out from between his and waved it around, almost anxious to skip over the apology. "Go on, tell me. What made you fall in love with April?"

He looked at her closely, as if he wasn't buying being let off the hook, but he shrugged and continued on. "She was so goofy, and bright, and completely without filters. And most important of all, she was nothing like Anna. She was hilarious, and so completely her own person. I realized I was beginning to look forward to her visits. I wanted to get to know her better, not push her away. But that meant I had two problems. One, I hadn't told you."

"True," Lorelai sighed.

"Looking back, of course it's easy now to see what I should have done. I should have told you the second April left the diner that first day. But I didn't, and then, every day that I didn't tell you made it worse. It got to the point where I was in so deep, I really couldn't see a way out. I made the trap myself, and then got angry because I was stuck in it."

"You know, as much as being kept in the dark upset me, I can actually understand," Lorelai admitted. "I remember trying to work up the nerve to tell my parents I was pregnant. I remember day after day, telling myself that _this_ was the night I was finally going to tell them."

"Yes," Luke said gratefully, "that's exactly how I felt, every day. The guilt was eating me up. I know those are just words now, but again…I'm so sorry."

She merely nodded, indicating for him to go on.

"The other problem was that if I wanted to be some sort of dad to April, some presence in her life, then I was going to have to negotiate with Anna. I was going to have to walk some sort of tightrope with her, so she couldn't zero in on how much I wanted it and use that to beat me with it." He paused and shook his head. "Didn't matter, though, because that's exactly what happened."

"So this is the explanation about why you let her call the shots?"

Luke nodded. "I could imagine, so clearly, what would happen if I pushed. She'd tell me it was all a lie, that April wasn't mine. She would have forbidden April to see me anymore. She would have found a way to get a restraining order against me, would have called the police if I tried see her anyway."

"There would have been legal remedies to all of that, Luke."

"Yeah, with April right in the middle." This time, he reached over and took her hand. With his head, he motioned towards the big window overlooking the Soda Shoppe. "I know I hurt you. I know you felt pushed out. Sometimes I tried to tell myself that I was doing it to protect you. If Anna would have gotten a whiff of how much you meant to me, she would have torn you up right in front of me."

"I think I could have held my own with Anna," Lorelai said disdainfully, narrowing her eyes at him.

Luke held her hand tighter and looked at her sadly. "Really? What happened the one time you went to see her?"

Anger sparked. "You yelled at me for going to see her at all!" She jerked her hand back.

"Because I could see how much she'd already gotten in your head! Plus there was a chance that was enough to make her yank April away from me!"

"Luke, you can't go on like this, tiptoeing around her all the time. If April's your daughter, then you need to make that legal."

He looked irritated. "What do you mean, _if_?"

"You have no proof. Get a DNA test done. Get your name on her birth certificate. Go to court."

"I don't want to drag this into court," he muttered.

"Oh, my God! _Luke!_ Either make it legal or stop complaining about how unfair Anna is."

"But April shouldn't have to go through –"

"April is a preternaturally mature and intelligent young woman. She is quite capable of understanding what's going on. In fact, she could probably school the lawyers on how to handle the case. And you know what else? She's old enough that you can discuss this with her. She's old enough to be able to articulate her own desires to the court." She gave him a scathing look. "She'd be on your side, Luke. You should use that to your own advantage."

"Well, yeah, sure. It's all so simple from where you sit, huh?" he said sarcastically. "It's all a breeze when it doesn't actually involve you!"

The words struck her right in the sore place in her heart. They were almost worse because she knew he hadn't meant them as a deliberate jab. "You're right," she whispered, barely able to move her lips. "It doesn't involve me at all."

His eyes widened in realization. "Shit. Lorelai, I didn't mean –"

"Also, you were right about what you said before. It did hurt." She bent her head towards the dividing window too. "Being kept on the outside, knowing that I wasn't wanted in here. I didn't understand why you were treating me like that. I didn't know what I'd done to make you kick me out, but it hurt. It still hurts. It broke my heart, Luke, if you want to know the truth."

He watched her for a quiet minute, nervously worrying his lips together. "I don't have a defense, Lorelai. I was wrong. I treated you horribly. If I had a way to go back and make it right, I would, in a heartbeat. I don't know what else I can say."

She looked down into her lap, determined not to give into tears. "You know what? I don't think I want to talk about this anymore. Let's move on."

Again, there was a long, weighted pause of silence. "You know there's really only one more major topic to discuss," he pointed out somberly.

"I bet we could come up with something," she said dully. "We could argue about the candy some more."

Luke pushed back his chair a little bit, giving him room to hunch over. He stared down at his hands clasped between his knees. "I guess the first thing…" He gave a shuddering sigh. "I've heard you're seeing him. Is that true?"

Lorelai filled her lungs with oxygen, knowing she was going to need fuel to get through this. "Before I came here tonight, I promised myself that I was going to be completely honest, that I wasn't going to try and bend things to make me look better, or to soften the facts. I want to tell you anything you want to know, no matter how terrible it is, because that's how much this chance to talk to you means to me. But, Luke…" her voice wobbled, and she took another breath. "Can I tell you in my own way?"

"I can only imagine what the Lorelai way of telling is going to be like. Maybe I'd better get some provisions first." He got up and walked behind the counter, where he filled a glass of water. "You want more coffee? Or something else?"

She saw that she'd barely touched what she had. "No, I'm fine. Thanks."

Before he came back to the table with his water, he grabbed a couple of the snack-size bags of chips. "Here, just in case," he said, tossing them on the table by her. "Help yourself to the candy bars, too."

"OK, thanks," she repeated, too stressed to realize she was being teased.

"Let's go then, the Lorelai long way around." He took a sip of the water. "Seems to me it should be a yes or no answer, but let's hear it." His grim face looked like he was prepared for the worst.

"Chris is rich now," she said, plunging in.

"OK," Luke shrugged, deliberately calm. "Good for him."

"His father died – you know that, that was the first time we broke up."

"Yes, I remember," he said cuttingly.

"So now Chris has more money than he knows what to do with, and he enjoys flinging it around. He's done all sorts of things for Rory."

"About time," Luke muttered.

"And he's planned these ridiculously over-the-top events for me."

"Sounds like it's a 'yes' then." He tipped his glass at her.

"No! See, that's why I need to give you the full story, so you understand. Luke, please…please let me tell you the whole background. Please?"

"Sure," he agreed, cynically. "Tell whatever you feel you need to."

Out of patience, she slapped her hands down on the table. "Luke! If I had a choice between spending time with you or spending time with him, I'd spend it with you! But I don't have that choice, do I?"

"No, because that was the choice _you_ made the night you walked away!"

They were both breathing hard, Luke from anger, Lorelai from despair. She took a moment to get under control. "Should I just go?" she asked, her voice dead. "This doesn't seem to be getting us anywhere."

He passed a hand over his eyes, fighting for control as well. He shook his head, not looking at her. "I know I'm being a jerk. I know we need to do this. It just feels like slow torture, that's all."

Lorelai chuckled mirthlessly. "Funny, I was just going to bring up torture."

"Well, occasionally it seemed like we shared a brain. Not often, but it did happen."

"My torture was self-administered. I'd sit at home, in what was supposed to be _our_ house, and just go over and over and over what went wrong. I'd torture myself with recriminations. So yeah, when Chris showed up with a classic car and wanted to whisk me away, have me watch movies projected on the side of barn somewhere out in the country – Yeah. I went. It broke the torture cycle for one night, at least."

"Sounds like good times," he snarked.

"Sometimes, it was. I admit it. I guess it ties back in with that feeling of being an entitled, spoiled rich girl again."

Luke slumped in his seat. "Maybe you're right. Maybe it's time to bring this to a halt."

"No, hold on. There are still things I want to explain." She squared her shoulders and tried to sound perkier. "First off, these dates – if they even count as dates – were like something out of the 50's. Purely platonic, absolutely nothing physical to them at all – which Chris didn't understand, but that's the only way I could…Anyway, that's the way it was. Secondly, I don't care how outrageous and over the top these staged events were, I'd take a picnic basket in my office every single time."

Luke scoffed. "Right."

Lorelai shook her head. "Luke, if you know me at all, you know that's true. Chris threw around his family's money to try and impress me. To…well, win me over with the extravagance. You, on the other hand, did this wonderful, sweet, magnanimous gesture purely from the goodness of your heart. You wanted to feed me and make sure I was all right. You wanted me to feel better about our situation. There's no comparison between the two. The picnic basket wins, even without the jelly glass full of flowers."

Luke studied his hands and didn't respond.

"That night…" Lorelai squeezed her eyes shut, looking for strength. "The night I blew us up," she then said clearly, ready to go right to Ground Zero. "You wanted me to stand still that night, didn't you?"

His head snapped up and he stared at her. "April told me you said that to her last night, but no, that's not true. I didn't want you to stand still. I just wanted you to stay. I wanted you to _want_ to stay. To stay with me." He chuckled humorlessly. "Which is the point where my recriminations start. I should have made you stay. I should have wrapped my arms around you and carried you back here, if I needed to. I should have made sure you were safe that night. I should have made sure you knew I wanted you to stay."

"Oh, Luke," she sighed. "It wouldn't have mattered. You could have swept me back here and made love to me all night long, and it wouldn't have made a difference. The next day, or the one after that, or the one after that, we would have been right back to the same place. We wouldn't have talked. We wouldn't have found any way to solve our problems. It just would have delayed the inevitable a little bit."

He winced. "That's depressing." He thought more about what she'd said. "It's even more depressing because it's most likely true."

She nodded and gripped the table hard, knowing it was time to confront the cheating elephant in the room. "You're tired of the long-way-around Lorelai versions of things, and it's getting late. We should probably just jump right to the nitty-gritty of it." Her bravery faltered and she was forced to take another breath and swallow hard before she could continue. "Can you ever forget what I did? Do you think the time will ever come when you could maybe…I don't know…see past it, somehow?"

The silence was agonizing. She sat and waited, counting her own breaths. She realized that she should have turned on some music as soon as she got inside the diner, so that the silence wouldn't be as painful.

She could see that Luke was suffering too, debating his answer. He took his time, examining his feelings, before he finally looked directly at her.

"I don't think so, Lorelai. It was such a huge thing, I just don't see how it can be minimized. And frankly, I'm not sure I _want_ to forget it, even if I could."

Even though his words were basically what she was expecting, she wasn't prepared for the emotional collapse they caused within her. Her hope had been decimated and she had nothing left to cling to. She was so empty she couldn't even cry.

"Right," she mumbled, numb and cold. She struggled to her feet. "Got it. I understand – I really do." She tried to make her fingers close around her coat. "I'll get out of here now."

"Whoa, whoa! What are you doing?" Luke jumped to his feet.

"Leaving," she said, desperate to get away before she fell apart.

"No, I learned my lesson about that." He grabbed her arm, and when she halted, he stepped closer and put his arms around her. "You said that you promised yourself that you'd be completely honest tonight? Well, the promise I made to myself was that I wasn't letting you leave until you understand how much you mean to me."

Half-heartedly, she struggled to get away for a bit, before allowing her head to fall exhaustedly against his chest. "This makes no sense, Luke. You just said you can't get past what I did."

"To forget, right. But you, us – that's a completely different question."

"It is?"

"Absolutely."

She was _so_ tired. "I don't see how."

"Because…You, I love. You, I forgive. You –" His voice choked up. "You, I want in my life."

Stunned, Lorelai pushed herself away from him far enough to stare at him. "Am I hallucinating? Is that what's going on? Because there's no way you just said that crazy stuff."

He held her a little bit tighter. "I want you to stay. To stay – not to stand still. I don't ever expect you to stand still. Just stay, with me, and….and…evolve?" He laughed, a little desperately. "I don't know the right term. Just stay with me, please, and we'll figure it out."

"You want me to stay," she repeated.

"Yes."

"With you?"

"Definitely with me."

"Here? Tonight?"

He nodded.

"For how long?"

"As long as you want."

She pushed away again. "Just to be clear – you want me to stay here. Upstairs? With you? And your daughter?"

"No, April's not here."

Horrified, Lorelai pushed herself free and leaped away from him. "What do you mean, April's not here!"

Luke shrugged, but looked concerned at her extreme reaction. "I mean she's not here. That one girl, Cassidy, had a sleepover tonight, so she went home with her after school. Why is that a big deal?"

"Why is that a big deal?" She began to pace. "Oh, no reason except that I was trying to do something nice! I thought I'd offer to come here so that you didn't have to worry about April being alone all evening!"

"That _was_ nice. Considerate."

"And I thought – you know, I thought it'd be prudent to have someone else in the building. Someone to call 911 if there was bloodshed. Some reason to keep us from screaming at each other."

"Well, luckily it didn't come to that," Luke said calmly.

Lorelai stopped and fixed him with a stern look. "I thought it might be wise to have a chaperone monitoring us, listening to everything going on with her sharp little ears. Someone who doesn't miss _one single damn thing_ , ever."

Luke walked over to her and lightly put his hands on her shoulders. "I promise that if you stay, I won't touch you, if that's what you're worried about."

She tapped his hands on her shoulders. "You're touching me right now, buddy."

"You know what I mean," he complained.

"I just…Oh, Luke. How can me staying here be a good idea?"

She saw that he was struggling to find the words for an explanation. "I feel like we're so close to fixing this, that if we just keep at it a little longer, we might stumble into the right solution. If we stop now, and you go home, then the next time we'll have to go through everything again just to get to where we are right now. I don't want to give up on the progress we've made."

Lorelai sighed, and softly placed her hands over his, which were still on her shoulders. "Luke," she said, gently.

He lowered his head so that it was against hers. "Maybe…I'm just not ready for you to leave yet. Maybe I still need to hear some things from you." He whispered the suggestion against her hair.

Her eyes opened wide, and her heart began to pound wildly. She removed her hands from his so that she could wind her arms around him instead. She pressed her face against his chest, relishing the feel of the flannel and the smell of him. "Something like…I love you?"

"Yes," he said, his voice raw with emotion.

She strengthened her hold on him. "I love you, Luke. So, so much."

He sighed, and shivered, and put a hand on the back of her head, holding her to him. It felt so good she wanted to cry.

"And maybe…maybe you need to hear that I'm sorry?"

"Yeah. That too."

The tears were leaking out now, she couldn't stop them. "I'm so sorry, Luke. I'm so, so, _so_ unbelievably sorry."

"It's not so unbelievable. I do believe you. And the same goes for me, about how sorry I am."

They stayed that way for untold minutes, holding each other, scared that letting go would break the spell they were under.

"So you'll stay?" Luke whispered, needing to hear it confirmed.

Lorelai was the one brave enough to pull away. "No, I tried to do my something nice already tonight. I think it's your turn to do a good deed."

"Oh yeah? Like what?"

She made sure all of the tears were wiped away, then smiled mischievously. "Come home with me. Paul Anka needs us."

There was one horrible long moment where she thought he was going to say no.

"Let me get my coat," he said instead.

They were quiet in the Jeep, as she drove them to the house, with only shy smiles showing the pleasure they were taking in being together again.

Lorelai took his hand as they walked to the house, but dropped it as they stood in front of the door, while she searched in her purse for the key.

"Maybe tomorrow, when I drive over to pick up April, you could come along," Luke suggested, watching her unlock the door.

"I'd love that," Lorelai said serenely, feeling an overwhelming sense of peace. The balance sheet kept by the universe seemed to have tipped completely in her favor. She stepped inside, reached for his hand again, and pulled him in with her.

* * *

 **Author's Chat:** I'm sure that some of you sharp-eyed readers have noticed that this story is not yet marked 'complete.' That's because there's a tiny epilogue still to come! So stay tuned!

Also, I wanted to thank all of you who have read and responded to this story. I know I haven't replied to any of the reviews yet because I've been so obsessed with the writing of each chapter. I poured every bit of spare time (except twins' time!) into more writing. I know I've said this a thousand times, but I'm so appreciative of the kind and encouraging words you send to me. I'm very grateful to those of you who still read and enjoy these stories.

Lastly, I wanted to try and give a bit of an explanation to those of you who have gently nudged me and reminded me that I have a couple of incomplete stories out there. I was absolutely on fire while writing this new one. The words came faster than I could type and most of them were exactly the words I wanted. Writing was…well, maybe not as good as Miss Patty's plums, but pretty dang close. I've learned, over the years, that when I try to force a chapter, it's a very disappointing endeavor for all of us. I know that one day I'll wake up and be all hot for Sheriff Danes again, or be in a baby delirium, and those remaining chapters will finally materialize, too, but until then, I'm afraid you'll have to continue to be patient.

The epilogue is pretty clearly defined in my head and isn't too long, so with any luck I'll have it posted before the tofurkey comes out of the deep fryer. Until then…


	5. Somebody's Going to Emergency

**Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Going to France**

 _ **or**_

 **What Happens When All of Our Wishes Come True**

* * *

"Luke."

"What?" he thought he said. He didn't. What he actually said sounded more like… _Hurumph._

"Luke. The doctor's here, babe."

 _Doctor_ got through to him. Unsteadily, he surged to his feet, and Lorelai's coat fell to the floor. She stood up too and put her arm around his back, providing him with some balance and support.

 _Doctor. April. Emergency room._ The events of the day clarified in his brain, and he tried to focus on the man in the blue scrubs standing in front of him.

"No worries," the doctor said pleasantly. "I'm glad you were able to get some rest. I know how exhausting the waiting can be."

Luke made an attempt to clear his throat, but his voice still sounded like gravel when the words came out. "How is she?"

"Your daughter is out of surgery and into recovery. Things could not have gone better, and I fully expect she'll be ready to be discharged within 48 hours. She's young, healthy, and will probably bounce back even faster than I expect. Best of all, the appendix was intact, and no infection was found in her abdominal cavity. You did the most important thing of all by bringing her in so quickly."

Luke shook his head and put his arm around Lorelai's shoulders. "That's all because of Lorelai. That was her instinct, to get April to the hospital so fast."

"Nervous single mother here," Lorelai said, seeming flustered. "I memorized every symptom of every possible illness that could strike my kid as soon as she was born."

The doctor smiled. "Well, that effort paid off for you today. Getting April into surgery quickly made a huge difference."

Luke squeezed Lorelai's shoulders gratefully.

"You said April's mother was on the way?"

"Yeah. Probably won't be able to get here until tomorrow," Luke confirmed.

"When she arrives, if she'd like to talk to me, or has any questions for me, just have her tell the nurse and they'll get in touch with me. I'm happy to go over everything with her."

"Thanks. I'll pass that on to her."

"Pretty soon they'll let you go in to recovery and see her, and after that, they'll bring her up to her room, once the anesthesia has worn off." The doctor smiled at them again. "More waiting, I'm afraid."

"That's OK, it will be mostly a stress-free waiting period this time," Lorelai assured him, sending that million-dollar smile of hers back at him.

The doctor noticeably startled, then looked at Luke with new respect. "Uh, just let the staff know if you need anything. I'll be by to check on her tomorrow."

"Great. Thanks," Luke said, now ready for him to be on his way. "Thanks for the good news."

Once the surgeon left the area, they both sat back down on the couch where they'd been waiting. Luke leaned over to pick up Lorelai's coat off the floor and handed it back to her. "You covered me up like a baby?"

She grinned. "It's chilly in here."

He rubbed his eyes, still trying to fully wake up. "Didn't I say I didn't want to take a nap?"

"You did. But then you put your head on my shoulder and basically passed out, which I thought was your body's way of cancelling out your words. Your need for sleep took precedence over your need to stand guard." She shrugged. "You'd already had a long day, Luke, and worrying and stress zaps your strength even more. You needed the rest to recharge."

"But what if something…" He couldn't even finish the sentence.

"Then I would have awakened you immediately. Besides, I was here. I was the guard on duty. I wasn't going to let anything happen to April."

The warmth of her words comforted him more than a dozen coats. "Yeah, I know," he said softly, and squeezed her hand. "I know both of us can count on you."

" _You bet_ ," she said, putting extra emphasis on the words. Her eyes suddenly looked suspiciously dewy. "I promise I won't ever buy a Reggae Fever CD without you."

"Ah." Luke put his arm around her again, and laid his head against hers. "I thought that sounded familiar."

"Is it sad that we have a collection of reconciliation catchphrases?"

"No, what would be sad is if we didn't have them."

"Glass half-full. Got it." She smiled, closed her eyes, and leaned up against him too.

"We're both going to fall asleep," he muttered, beginning to feel drowsy again.

"If we do, the nurse will wake us up when it's time to see April."

Before sleep could catch them, Lorelai's phone buzzed. She sat up and fished it out of her purse.

"Everything OK?" Luke watched her eyes dart across the message once, then go back and read it again.

"Yeah, it's just Rory." She typed out a quick response and added a smiley face. "She wanted to let me know they've landed in Paris and everything's going fine so far." She slipped the phone into her pocket.

Luke nodded, suddenly feeling colder, and not just because she was no longer leaning up against him. "They got her to her mother?"

"Not yet, but they're on the way."

Luke stared across the empty room, at some old black and white movie playing on the TV attached to the wall. "He wanted you to go, didn't he?"

"Only after I pointed out that it was practically child abuse to send G.G. on a nine-hour, overseas flight by herself," she said easily.

"But still, he wanted you to go with him."

"He hinted heavily that he'd be willing to make the trip if he had a companion." Lorelai smiled resolutely. "Wasn't it lucky that it coincided with Rory's fall break? He not only gets a companion, but prime bonding time with both of his daughters." She chuckled a little bit. "And Rory gets a free trip to Europe. It all worked out beautifully."

"In the interest of honesty, I'm not thrilled that he still thinks he can ask you to do things like that."

"I've put up the boundaries, Luke. I've been more clear and firm with him than I've ever been in my life, and he knows that the only crossover between us now is Rory. I understand that it's hard for you to trust me yet –"

"I trust you fine. It's him I don't."

"Then you need to trust that I'm handling it. And I promise you, if he ever says or does anything that makes me uncomfortable, I _will_ tell you about it. I learned my lesson about believing it was sometimes better to keep you in the dark."

"Yeah, don't make me go into drama queen mode."

"Whoa, points to you for _that_ reference."

As much as Luke wanted to stew about it, he soon realized that he was lucky enough to have Lorelai at his side, his daughter out of surgery and doing fine, and like it or not, his life was looking pretty good. A smile lit up his face.

"What's that about?" Lorelai wanted to know, immediately pouncing on the smile. For one brief moment, she put her finger against his bottom lip. "Are you thinking about something slutty?" she stage-whispered.

"No, I was thinking about what a disgustingly new-age family we've turned out to be." He shifted so he could see her better, still smiling. "Here you are, sitting in the hospital with me, after diagnosing my daughter and rushing her to the emergency room. You just got a text from your daughter, who's in Paris with her father and her half-sister, who they're taking to…" Luke paused, struggling to keep the relationships straight. "Her one-time stepmother?"

"Yes, as much as it pains me to admit it, at one time Sherry was Rory's stepmother." Lorelai shook her head, as if she couldn't quite believe how it was all connected, too. "And don't forget, when Anna gets here, she's staying at the Dragonfly."

That succeeded in wiping the smile off his face. "You know how you said you set up boundaries? I promise you, with Anna I will set up barricades."

"I think it will be OK, Luke. We've got April on our side." Her words were upbeat, but her eyes turned pensive.

"Are you worried about Anna? Because I promise, I'll make sure –"

"No, it's not Anna." She smiled hesitantly, and shrugged. "It was just that a little bit ago, you called us a family."

Instantly, a sliver of alarm slipped down his spine. "Aren't we?"

"In my world, yes. I just wasn't sure if you were ready to go that far yet."

He searched her eyes for the telltale sheen of tears, using that as a guide for how sappy he could be. "In my world, that's not very far to go, Lorelai. You've already been my family for a long time." She began to blink harder, so he lightened it up. "Besides, look at the great deal I get. I get Rory."

She pressed a fingertip against the corner of her eye, but she smiled, too. "So what? I get April."

"Pretty even deal, then."

"Well…until April starts dating. Then I might give you the reins and bow out for a year or two or five."

"No way. This isn't a part-time gig. You're with me every step of the way."

"Slave-driver," she pretended to grumble. She cuddled up against him and he put his arm around her again.

Both of them stared at the movie playing out across the room. "What is this?" Luke asked, after following the action for a few minutes. "It looks familiar."

"A truly great movie," Lorelai pronounced. " _Philadelphia Story_."

"Oh, yeah. I have seen this, but it was a long time ago." He watched some more. "Cary Grant, right?"

"Yeah, but I'm more of a Jimmy Stewart gal."

He glanced at her. "Are you now? I would have thought ol' Cary was right up your alley, all GQ'ed out and everything." His eyes went back to the screen.

A few more minutes into the movie, Lorelai picked up his hand. "Angry?" she inquired.

"What?" He was slightly irritated that she'd interrupted the movie.

"This." She patted his hand. "You've got your hands balled up into fists. Thinking about how much you'd like to go and punch out the rich pretty boy?"

The movie no longer held his attention. He worried his bottom lip with his teeth for a moment before he turned to look at her. "He told you, huh?"

"No, he whined to Rory about it, and Rory told me."

Luke shook his head. "You'd think he'd know by now that Rory tells you everything."

"You'd think," Lorelai agreed mildly, and then was surprisingly silent.

"So am I supposed to apologize to him or something?"

Lorelai considered that. "I don't think that's my call."

"Then why are you bringing this up?"

"I guess I'm just wondering if you went and hit him because you couldn't hit me."

" _No."_ He immediately turned further towards her and gently put his hands on either side of her face, holding her gaze. "No way, ever. That was never, ever in my mind."

She stared back at him. "Then why? I don't understand guys and this urge to punch. Why'd you drive all the way to Boston and do it?"

He dropped his hands from her face and turned back straight in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "Because…because he hurt you, Lorelai."

"I think we can argue that I hurt myself." She shivered a little bit. "And you, of course."

Luke shook his head emphatically. "He should have taken care of you, and he didn't. By the way, this is a totally separate thing from everything that went on between us, and it also doesn't matter what you did once you got there or how much tequila was floating around. He should have had your best interests at heart that night. He should have been watching out for you. Instead, he was a selfish bastard and did the one thing guaranteed to cause you the most pain." Luke paused to take a breath and review what he'd just said. "That's why I punched him out. I was furious that he hurt you like that."

Lorelai leaned her head against his shoulder. "I think you're being remarkably generous to me, Luke."

He shrugged, which made her head bounce against his arm. "I think I love you."

"David Cassidy, Partridge Family, 1970." She sighed. "Just…no more punching anybody, OK?"

Luke froze into place and deliberately said nothing.

"You can say it, you know. You have the right."

"What?" he asked, and then cringed at how badly he lied.

"Some variation of 'Stay out of Boston and then I won't have to, Lorelai.'" Her voice went low, pretending to be him. "It's OK. We can say this stuff. We can talk about it. That's what's gotten us to where we are now."

He thought for a minute. "I don't have to say it, though, do I? I mean, we're past the point where that's even a hypothetical option, aren't we?"

"So far past it." She fought to get her arms around him, because he was leaning back against the couch, but once she'd succeeded, she hugged him tightly, burying her face against his arm. "It's all the way in Canada, or someplace. Far, far away, where it will never bother us again."

They both grew quiet, appreciating their unexpected cuddle in the deserted surgical waiting area, and let their thoughts turn away from the past, enjoy the present, and look hopefully to the future.

"You know what? You still feel cold to me." Lorelai roused herself and got to her feet. She grabbed up her purse. "I'm going to go find you some hot tea, or maybe soup. Would you like soup? I'm sure you could use some nourishment."

"I'm fine," he protested, thinking he'd rather have Lorelai pressed up against him for warmth rather than soup any day.

"I'll be right back. There are vending machines at the end of the hall."

Luke smiled. "You're right. This 'being taken care of' stuff is pretty sweet."

"You deserve it, especially today." She took a step away.

Without any thought, Luke leaned forward, stretched out his arm, and snagged the back of her sweater, preventing her from taking one more step. He didn't want soup, or tea, or anything that came out of a vending machine. He wanted the woman in front of him. Wanted her immediately, and so desperately that he was willing to ignore the fact that they were in public. He pulled harder on her sweater.

"Luke!" She laughed at his antics, and playfully tried to reach behind her to swat at his hand. "Stop it! You're going to stretch it out."

"Then come here." He tugged with enough force that the backs of her legs hit his knees. He put his hands on her hips and turned her around.

"Luke!" She was still laughing, but then she saw his face and sobered. "What are you…?"

Instead of answering, he pulled her into his lap. He put one arm behind her shoulders and tipped her slightly to the side. He ran his other hand along the side of her face, up into her hair, and watched her beautiful symmetrical eyes as they widened and darkened. Her purse slid down her arm and hit the floor.

"Luke, we said – we said no touching, not until –"

"We've touched plenty, these last few weeks."

"But we said – no sexy touching – no kissy stuff, not while we were still trying to…to…"

"I think we've talked enough, don't you?"

"Maybe. Yes. I don't know! But we agreed! No physical stuff that might derail us until –"

"Hold on. I agreed to that?"

"You know you did!" Her eyes were focused on his lips, and she was gasping as she struggled with her own desire, but still, she was able to banter. "It was either you or your evil twin."

"Hmm. Maybe _I'm_ the evil twin." Not able to hold back any longer, he captured her lips.

Whatever vague idea he had about how the kiss was going to unfold was immediately blown away by reality. Lorelai got an arm around his neck and pulled him closer. She whimpered and he took the kiss deeper, to that sublime place where they used to reside. His hands lost control and stroked wherever they wanted.

Lorelai pulled her mouth away from his for one moment, just long enough to replenish the air in her lungs. "Evil Twin Luke _rocks_ ," she whispered shakily, before eagerly continuing the kiss.

Luke was beyond words or any conscious thoughts, for that matter. His only functioning brain cells were busy cataloging all of the touches and touching he'd missed so desperately.

"Um…looking for April Nardini's father?"

Lorelai nearly ended up on the floor when both of them jumped in shock at the interruption.

"Yeah, um, that's me." Luke's chest was heaving as he tried to recover some oxygen. "I'm her dad." He felt his cheeks blazing in embarrassment.

Lorelai quickly hopped over onto the empty space beside him on the couch. "Sorry. We were…uh, just so relieved that April's OK, and uh…" She shook her head, and looked pleadingly at the nurse. "Sorry, there's no excuse for that. We got back together not that long ago, and well…things just got out of hand."

The nurse's eyes snapped with amusement. "Looked to me like things were well in hand."

Luke covered his face, but Lorelai giggled. "We're really sorry," she said again.

"Don't sweat it. I used to work in the ER, nothing shocks me anymore." She gave them a wink. "Besides, this means I'll have the best story to share at shift change. You guys will be famous for 24 hours."

"Great," Luke groaned.

Lorelai got them back on track. "So, April?"

"She's still groggy, but you can come and see her for a minute or two."

They both stood up, but only Luke followed the nurse. He turned back to Lorelai, confused. "You're not coming?"

She shook her head. "I think it should just be you, for now."

"Don't be ridiculous. That's the deal, remember? I get Rory, you get April." He held out his hand to her. "Now, come on. Let's go."

Lorelai's face absolutely glowed. She hurried to catch up to him and grabbed his hand.

Then, together, they walked into the recovery room to see April.

* * *

They spent about ten minutes beside April's bed, stroking her hair, trying to get her to sip some water, and reassuring her over and over that the surgery was done and that she'd be home before she knew it. She was still fading in and out of consciousness but was breathing easy and didn't seem to be in pain. Luke leaned over and kissed her forehead when it was time for them to leave.

The recovery room nurse knew the room number assigned to April. They went up there, thinking they'd wait, but the nurse on the floor said it would be at least another hour before she was moved from recovery. So instead, they went down to the cafeteria to get something to eat.

When they got back, April had just been transferred into her bed. The nurse was checking her I.V. and other staff were tucking in her blankets and getting her comfortable.

"Dad," she murmured, spotting Luke.

He wasted no time getting to her side. "How do you feel? Are you hurting?"

"No, I'm fine." She shifted her position and winced a little bit. "When are they gonna take it out?"

"They have. It's all over. You're in your room now."

"Oh." She yawned. "That's good."

"Yeah, it's really good." Luke began to stroke her hair again. He looked into her peaceful face, and a lump came to his throat when he realized that last year at this time, he had no real idea who April was or how much she was going to come to mean to him.

April opened her eyes again and looked around the room, frowning in confusion. She spotted Lorelai. "Oh, hey. You're here, too."

"You bet I'm here." Lorelai said, coming closer so that April could see her easier. "How are you doing, sweetie? Do want us to get you something?"

"Sure," April said slowly.

"What?" Lorelai asked eagerly.

"What?" April asked, bewildered.

"Nothing," Lorelai said, trying not to laugh. "Go ahead and close your eyes."

"Your mom will be here tomorrow," Luke reminded her, in case she was worried about Anna not being there.

"OK," April mumbled, beginning to drift off.

"That's the way it's going to be for a while," the nurse told them. "The best thing for her is to sleep. If you want to go on home, go. I promise you that we'll be taking good care of her. She won't know if you're here or not. Go home and get some rest."

"I don't know about that," Luke said uneasily. "We live about 45 minutes away. I'm not sure I want to be that far away from her."

"You're welcome to stay, of course. We can get you some blankets and pillows, and I'm told that couch isn't too bad, although…" She looked at Luke appraisingly. "You're pretty tall. Not sure how comfortable you'd be."

"No problem," Luke said, determined to stay with his daughter. What did he care about comfort?

"There is another option," the nurse said. "There are a couple of hotels over in the next block. We could call you, if necessary, and you could be back here lickety-split."

At the word _hotel_ , Luke and Lorelai locked eyes.

"That…might not be a bad idea," Luke said slowly, staring at Lorelai.

"That might work for us. For tonight. Because we need…to rest." Lorelai gave him that mischievous look he knew so well.

"I think there's a map of the area out at the nurses' station. Just ask as you're leaving. And let me check…" She flipped open the chart. "Yes, we've got your contact information and cell phone numbers. We'll call you if anything changes at all, but I'm sure she'll be fine."

Luke tore his eyes from Lorelai and bent over April again. "Listen, we're going to leave now, OK? We'll be back in the morning, and you know that you can call us anytime, if you need us. You know that, right?"

"Yes, Dad, I _know_ that," April said, sounding like any other teenager dealing with an overly concerned parent. If her eyes had been open, she would have rolled them.

"Sleep tight," Lorelai whispered to her. "We'll see you soon, and you'll feel so much better by then."

They began to carefully make their way out of the room, but April suddenly stirred. "Hey, Lorelai?"

"What sweetie?" Lorelai made a beeline back to her.

"Don't let Dad wear that black hat anymore," April mumbled. "It's ugly."

Lorelai grinned at Luke. "I won't. I promise. No black hat, ever again."

"'K…" April was asleep.

They picked up the map, made sure the desk staff had their phone numbers too, and walked to the elevator.

"You're OK with this, right?" Luke asked, somewhat nervously. He kept his eyes glued to the red numbers over the elevator door, showing how soon it was going to arrive at their floor.

"Oh, my God, Luke, of course I'm OK with it. In fact, if the elevator's empty, I might jump you as soon as the doors open," Lorelai informed him. "But, are you OK with it? With leaving April tonight? I can put aside my carnal desires for another night if you want to stay here – and I mean that. She's much more important right now."

"No, after all, they told us to go," he pointed out. He put his hand on her shoulder and caressed it.

"It was almost an order," Lorelai stated. She put her arm around his waist and leaned against him.

"Doctor's orders. Well, nurse's orders, anyway."

Lorelai stepped in front of him and linked her arms around his neck. "Think we can get Evil Twin Luke to play doctor with me tonight?" Her voice was full-on seductress.

He wrapped his arms around her and studied the face he loved so much. "If it's OK with you, I think that just regular Luke will be with you tonight. He has some catching up to do."

"That's fine too," Lorelai agreed. She looked down the hall, then cautiously pressed a discreet kiss against his cheek.

The elevator doors opened, catching them off-guard. It was packed with people. They smiled secretively at each other, then eased inside the space, saying 'excuse me' as they bumped into elbows and floral arrangements.

Luke pulled Lorelai to stand in front of him and placed his hands on her shoulders, creating a small sanctuary of protection for her.

She glanced backwards at him, her eyes sparkling. "Maybe the hotel will have an elevator!" she suggested. "We might still get our chance!"

He looked straight ahead and shook his head, but he grinned, too.

He'd missed this part of their relationship so much: the give and take, the banter, her special brand of sauciness. He honestly didn't know how he'd managed to survive without her.

* * *

The hotel did have an elevator, but they were only on the second floor.

"Guess we'll just have to wait," Lorelai said, pouting prettily. She hoped the innuendo was masking her nervousness. Because, God, she was nervous.

When the desk attendant learned they were checking in to be close to the hospital, he offered to send up a bag of complimentary toiletries to see them through their unexpected stay. While they waited for the delivery, they both wandered around the room, first looking out the window, and then checking out the bathroom. The room was nothing special, since it was designed to be merely functional, but it was very clean. Luke fiddled with the thermostat on the heater. Lorelai pulled the curtains closed.

Finally, the knock at the door came. Luke hurried to answer it. He thanked the maid effusively for the care package. He stuck the 'do not disturb' sign on the door, then pulled it closed and locked it. He tossed the bag of travel size deodorant and toothpaste onto the desk, uninterested in whatever might be inside.

Lorelai could feel her heart jumping erratically. She remembered the night not that long ago, standing before the diner, terrified to open the door and walk in. Now, here she was again, trying to make herself take that next step, not knowing what might happen if she did. As soon as they'd decided to fight for their relationship, to put everything they had into trying again, she'd been petrified about this exact moment. When Luke suggested they put the physical part aside until they hashed out the problems in their relationship, she'd been only too happy to go along with it. Her desire for him was as strong as it ever was – stronger, even – but her anxiety over what would happen when they got to this point beat out her craving for him, hands-down. What if he decided he didn't want to touch her after all? What if her residual guilt made her freeze? What if they couldn't find their way back to what they'd had? What if this long-anticipated night turned out to be nothing but a disaster?

Luke crossed the room to her, as quickly as he could. He swept her up in his arms and kissed her the same way he had back in the surgical waiting area.

And Lorelai found out she had nothing to be nervous about at all.

* * *

Later, draped over his chest, listening to his heart beating under her ear, Lorelai decided she felt confident enough to ask the question that had been bugging her for the past few weeks.

"Hey, Luke?"

"The answer's yes."

She raised her head slightly, trying to see his face. "What answer?"

"Whatever you're going to ask me. Doesn't matter what. The answer to anything right now is yes."

She smiled, liking the note of tired satisfaction she heard in his voice. But then she got serious again. "It's about something you said in the diner that night, when we decided to give us another go."

She felt him tense. "Sure, ask away," he said blandly, but his hand tangled in her hair before beginning to uneasily stroke her curls.

"When I asked you if you could ever forget what happened, you said no, which was not a surprise to me. But then you said that you didn't want to forget it."

"Right," he agreed.

"That confused me then, and it still confuses me. If you can't forget it – if you don't even _want_ to forget it, then why are we here? I mean, I'm not complaining." She kissed his chest. "I just don't understand your thought processes, I guess. To me, that statement still sounds like a deal-breaker."

"I think…you heard it differently than the way I meant it. Which shows that we still have a long way to go with the whole communication thing."

"This is your chance, then, Butch. Communicate the hell out of that statement."

He dropped a kiss to the top of her head, and then settled back again, considering his response. "Those words were aimed at me, not at you. But I see how they confused you. I meant that I didn't want to forget that I almost lost you – What am I saying? I _did_ lose you. It's a miracle that we're here right now. I don't want to forget any of the lessons I learned while we were apart. I want to remember that you are the biggest, most important part of my life, and I need to _show_ you that every day. I never want you to question your place in my life again."

Lorelai closed her eyes and breathed in and out, feeling at peace as the lingering anxiety completely vanished. "Thanks for explaining that. Thanks for… _believing_ that." She pushed herself up on her elbows and stretched upwards, reaching his face for a kiss. "Thank you for _showing_ me that."

"Any time," he said, reverting to the exhausted satisfaction stage. "Ask me anything. I don't want there to be anything between us that we can trip over again."

"Right back at you, babe."

"Mmm." He sighed, then wrapped his arms around her, snuggling her close. "Are you going to be warm enough? You can wear my shirt, if you want to."

"No, I'm a huge fan of the skin-to-skin." She placed sleepy kisses on his neck, jaw, and the side of his face. "If I get cold, I'll wake you for a warm-up."

"That sounds like a plan I can thoroughly endorse."

Lorelai molded herself up against him. "I'm going to be right here by your side for the rest of my life, Luke. I'm going to take care of you, and love you, and never ever leave you."

"Yeah, I know that," Luke said, sounding baffled.

"Those words were for me, not you."

He chuckled drowsily. "Got it."

"Sleep tight, babe. I love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart."

Lorelai fell asleep, with the words she thought she'd never hear again repeating in her head.

* * *

They got to the hospital later than they intended the next morning. As much as they wanted to see April, they found it difficult to leave their _Love Shack, the Reconciliation Edition_ , as Lorelai christened it.

"Hey there!" April greeted them, when they cautiously peeked in the door to her room. She was sitting up in bed, eating a modified breakfast. "Did you know, going to the bathroom by yourself is a huge deal in this place!"

Luke looked dismayed, but Lorelai laughed. "Is it, now?"

"Oh, yeah. Once I showed them I could do that, they got me something to eat and took out my I.V." She showed off the bandage on the inside of her arm proudly.

"Sorry we weren't here," Luke grumbled.

"No big deal," April said with a shrug. "I think they were getting tired of all of the questions I asked, though. But this might be my only time in a hospital! I had to ask when I had the chance."

"Well, sure," Lorelai agreed.

"Oh, and Mom called, right before she got on her plane. She should be landing around 2, if nothing gets delayed. Her friend Tina is going to pick her up and bring her over here."

Luke and Lorelai exchanged a glance, glad that they'd be spared the long, uncomfortable ride from the airport, at least.

"I'm sure you'll be glad to see her," Lorelai said diplomatically.

"Yeah, but she didn't have to come. I'm fine."

Luke put his hand on April's head. "You're not hurting at all?"

"Not unless I forget and move too fast or something."

Lorelai and Luke exchanged another look, this time one of thankfulness.

Luke's phone rang. He startled, then pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the display. "Looks like it's Caesar. I'm just going to…" He motioned towards the hallway and headed that way, putting the phone to his ear.

"Tell Caesar hi!" April called after him.

"You seem very perky," Lorelai observed.

"Life is good," April said with a grin. "Now that I'm not doubled over in pain, it's all good."

Lorelai laughed. "You make a convincing argument."

April looked at her more solemnly. "Thanks for taking care of me, by the way. I was really scared, but you made it OK."

"Well, turnabout is fair play. You took care of me, not that long ago."

"All I did was go and get Dad."

"All I did was get you to the hospital so the doctors could fix you."

April grinned again. "I guess we just need to admit that we're both awesome."

"We are indeed." Lorelai held up her hand for a high-five.

April scooped up the last of her breakfast and settled back against the pillow, wiping off her mouth with a napkin.

"Do you want anything else?"

"No, I think I'm good for now. Maybe I can score some pudding later."

"You know, the best pudding I ever had was at my mother's house a couple of years ago. She served it in these fancy crystal bowls. I should try and get the recipe and see if Sookie could replicate it."

"Maybe it wasn't the pudding. Maybe they were magic bowls."

Lorelai laughed. "Maybe. That would explain a lot, actually."

April tilted her head and studied Lorelai carefully. "You seem awfully happy today."

Lorelai ducked her face, feeling a blush creeping up her cheeks. "I am, April. I'm really happy."

"Because of Dad?"

"Because of your dad," Lorelai agreed. She leaned over and squeezed April's hand. "And because of you, too. Where would I be if you hadn't come to my house to _not_ trick or treat?"

"Stuck with a lot of PayDays," April said sensibly.

Lorelai sat down on the edge of the bed. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Sure!"

Lorelai glanced at the door, making sure that Luke wasn't coming back in yet. "I think I'm starting to like the stupid things."

"Congratulations. You passed the test." April threw her arms over her head, only wincing momentarily. "Welcome to the family!"

For a New York minute, Lorelai couldn't speak. "You're sure you're feeling OK? No pain?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"Because I'm going to hug you so hard that I might make your stitches pop."

"Bring it on," April challenged her, smiling widely. She opened her arms eagerly.

* * *

That was the scene that greeted Luke when he walked back into the room. He saw the woman he loved wholeheartedly embracing his daughter. Since he still had his phone in his hand, he raised it to his eye and clicked. Not many people were lucky enough to have photographic documentation of the precise moment when their life transitioned into the next level.

And no doubt about it, he was a lucky guy.

 **THE END**

* * *

 **Author's Chat:** I am totally convinced that this story was a gift from the story gods. It felt like I was a conduit that words were flowing through, rather than struggling to find a couple to fit together into some sort of a sentence. Trust me, this was unlike any writing experience I've ever had, and I'm a little depressed that it's over. Who knows, maybe this was my final hurrah. Maybe I'll never have another story idea again…Nah, probably not! In any case, thanks for following along as we got Luke and Lorelai together yet again. ( _Eledgy_ , the title is all for you! Hope it gave you a chuckle or two. _Fish Bag_ , of course Evil Twin Luke was meant for you!)


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